A/N: Wow! Thanks for the reviews, it makes me very happy ^^ Yes, the group is being slightly...jerk like. But I promise you that it won't be like that forever (well, i don't know about Snotlout...he's always like that). Its, unfortunately, the realistic side of this situation everyone's in :/ I won't talk any longer, here's the next chapter!
"So...is it toxic?" I ask Gothi. She shakes her head, pressing her stick down into some sand and making some lines and drawing pictures. I look at Hiccup, shrugging my shoulders, "this is when we need Gobber."
Hiccup stares at the lines and pictures trying to make sense of it, he scratches his head and sighs, "We don't understand."
Gothi glares at us, clenching at her stick. She pushes it into the sand, and starts to draw again. I try to concentrate on what I see; a question mark in the middle, with a picture of a bed on one side, and a viking helmet with something on it...blood maybe?
"So...i'm going to go to bed with a helmet?" Gothi glares harder, clenching her stick and slamming in on top of my head, "Ow!"
In the back are two wooden cabinets, Gothi opens the small doors and takes out two jars, one in each hand. In the left hand is a jar with a picture of a flower; a medicine created by Gothi with several different flowers that results in a black powder. It was a well known fact that it was used to cure diseases that left people on the brink of death; sometimes I would see her leaving a persons home with the jar in hand. And every time, that person was dying.. In her right hand is a jar with blue powder. There is a picture on the outside of the jar of a eel with spots...eel pox. A disease, that may over time kill you, but it takes A LONG time. It was a medicine she used to cure certain diseases that followed a similar path, deadly, but death comes over time.
She closes the doors, and places the jars on either side. The black jar goes on the drawing of the bed, and the blue jar goes on top of the drawing of the helmet. Hiccup and I kneel down, glancing at the two, "Something about...sickness...and death," Hiccup murmurs. For a moment we stare at each other, then glance back at the jars. I don't how long we are kneeling before Hiccup speaks up, "So this is serious."
Gothi nods.
"Do you know how serious?"
She shrugs her shoulders.
"Wait," I speak, "so you know its serious, but not if it causes death or just sickness? How do you know?"
Gothi groans, bringing her stick back and slamming it against my head for the second time. I touch the spot where the stick made impact with my head and wince. She walks over to her bookshelf and pulls out a small green book. Turning its pages, she scans each on until she shows us whats inside. The book looked like a journal with handwriting and notes with dates, this one dated back to before I was born.
I read out loud, "In the month of April I found a strange orange goo. I do not know where it came from. There are deer here, swaying and sickly. Most have goo on their bodies, some do not. It is unknown their condition, or whether they are even sick. They show abnormal symptoms."
There's a pain in my chest as I trail off, "This is really serious isn't it?"
There's hesitation in the old woman's eyes, but she nods.
"And you still haven't found a cure?"
Again she nods.
"Well I guess that settles it," I force a smile, "I'm a goner." The lady growls, slamming her stick on to my head again, "Again?"
She waves her finger, and starts drawing in the sand. I can't figure it out, of course, but she smiles at me when she finishes.
Its a clear picture of a flower with several thorns and three leaves, "Is this a flower?"
The lady nods, pointing to the book, "The cure?" She smiles, "Where is it?"
Quickly the smile fades and she shrugs her shoulders again.
"Do you have any idea where it could be?" Hiccup interjects.
Nothing.
"So you have no idea?"
Gothi nods.
"Well, we need to find it," Hiccup says, "we'll find it for you, Gothi."
"Do you remember what island you were on?"
Pressing her stick back into the sand, she makes a bunch of pictures, "I don't...remember this island."
She takes the stick and points in a direction.
"South? I don't know if we've gone south before." It was true, just as Hiccup had said. Rarely did he explore south, as most of the climates were colder than ours before the climate would start to heat up as the sun grew closer.
We say goodbye to Gothi, and jump on to Toothless. Though not knowing what the goo will do to me, besides the dizziness, is a little worrisome, I find myself not worrying about it too much. My mind is more focused on the dragon that attacked earlier. I had so many questions; how did Hiccup know the dragon? Why did Hiccup know the dragon? Why did it attack?
I know I should be worried about what Gothi said and in a way I am. I'm not in any way going to forget about it, rather I close my eyes as Toothless dives down towards the town, and chose not to think about it. To focus on other problems, something like this was not good to often reflect on.
Hiccup is silent, as we hit the ground and Hiccup jumps off Toothles he looks at me, "We'll find a way."
"I'm not worried," I lie, hoping off of Toothless, "there's too much else to worry about right now." There was so much truth to it, so much that I could feel myself shaking in my boots. I understood that the average joe would go home and sulk, vikings had a thing about death. I was like any other viking, but deep down I was hoping that it wouldn't come to me being bed-ridden and that death would never knock on my door.
Silence again. Hiccup looks away, and for once I want to know what's on his mind. But I don't ask, because at the same time I don't want to know, "Hey..." I think about a panic reaction from everyone, "don't tell anyone...yet. About what Gothi said."
No answer.
"Well..." I look over towards Gobber, who is coming from the benches where our earlier race took place, "...I think you're needed. I'll see you later."
"Penny."
"Yeah."
"Take it easy."
I'm a viking, I will never take it easy.
I smile at Hiccup, then retreat towards my own home. For a moment I wish that the race had finished first before the attack and our team had beaten Snotnuts. What a name...And I'm guessing like everyone else I was wondering where the dragon even come from. Later I would see Fishlegs. Maybe he could help. As I knew Hiccup probably would also. For now, it was to home.
"Penny!" I turn to see Grease running after me, his hair was smelly, I could smell even from where I was. He got to me, "Did you see what happened today?"
"Happened?"
"At the dragon race. We were attacked by a Monstrous beast. But the academy drove it off," Grease smiles.
I sigh, "I was there..."
"Oh. Well, I'm sure you weren't," Grease folds his arms over his chest, "I would have seen you." I sigh, there was no sense in continuing to try and talk some sense into him. I didn't even know him that well anyway. My house is not far, and I start walking towards it with Grease on my tail. I don't bother bringing up the goo or what happened at Gothi's. Instead, I keep my mouth shut as Grease tries to follow me, "So. Would you like to accompany me in two days to the next dragon racer?"
"Umm...well..." I frown, "that's going to be difficult."
"Difficult? A beautiful girl like you?" He glares, "difficult shouldn't be any vikings vocabulary."
I roll me eyes, "well, I am IN the race."
"In the race?" He laughs, "a girl like you? You would never handle something like that."
I laugh, "You'd be surprised."
"No. I know for sure," He stops me, "you're not like me. Strong. Bold. Able. Racing is important, and someone like you couldn't manage. In fact," He smiles, "I bet you've never been to one. So, come with me."
"I...uh..." I was annoyed, he didn't know me very well and had no such place to say anything. Inside, my emotions are bubbling, "I'll look-"
"Great!" He hugs me, crushing my body to his. I feel like my bones are about to crack, "I'll pick you up an hour before the race."
I go to protest but before I can say anything, he's gone.
When I get home, no one's there. Mother was normally sitting at the table knitting something, but after today's race, I could only guess she was at the great hall, bragging about her "daughters dragon skill." She did that often, even on days I lost.
So I conclude that it was time to find Fishlegs. I pray that he's at his home and not hanging out with Ruffnut again. If he is, I can not even begin to describe how awkward I would feel approaching him. When I don't find him at home, I find myself looking around the village.
At the peer, near the boats, I spot all three of them. Snotlout is leaning against a boat, laughing about something. Fishlegs too. I hesitate, I don't want to approach them. But I had to. I needed ANY information about this dragon.
"Fishlegs!" I call finally. There was some hesitation, but I see the full of his face when he turns to me.
Fishlegs waves, "Hey Penny."
Ruffnut and Snotlout are looking at me now, I feel awkward. If I wanted to do anything at that moment, it was to run away and hide from the world instead of pursuing this. I force a smile, "Can I talk to you?"
"To him?" Snotlout throws in, "why would you want to talk to Fishlegs? When I'm standing here." The smile is gone, replaced with that...look.
"I don't need to talk to you." I snap. The memories of the forest flash into my mind, they make me angry. He ignored me in the arena today, and then the incident right before the attack...there are no words. I feel weird, a mix of emotions are now flooding in. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. He looks hurt, and it breaks my heart. But I don't care, I just don't care anymore. Even now he finds ways to stab me somehow with something invisible...right into my best.
Fishlegs hesitates.
"Its important," I insist, wishing that I could get out of there.
Hesitation.
"Fishlegs!"
"Okay, fine!" He whines. Fishlegs turns to Ruffnut, "I'll be back darling." He takes her hand.
I feel like gagging. I was standing right there. As we walk, I note Meatlugs sudden appearance, "Where'd Meatlug come from?"
"The beach," Fishlegs responds as we walk up the stairs. I feel Snotlouts stare, but I ignore him and focus on Fishlegs, "she loves it. All the rocks she can eat." We get to the top of the steps, "What can I do for you?"
"The dragon from today," I start, "do you have any idea what it was?"
Fishlegs shakes his head, "I wish I did. I've never seen it before."
"What about the book of dragons?"
"Nothing. I wish I could tell you what it was. I wish I knew."
"Then...what did you gather today?"
He gestures towards his house and I follow him, "This dragon was unique. It had small scales that protect it from attacks," We walk into his house. No one is home, "its ears and nostrils were very small. But the eyes," Fishlegs shutters, "they were large and fierce."
Fishlegs grabs a book from a bookshelf near some stairs, it was a small book. I frown, "Have you been studying dragons?"
"Hey. Its my passion," Fishlegs passes me the book, "page twelve."
I flip to the page and see a list of stuff.
"What was the most impressive was the goo," He smiles, "the dragon has the ability to fire goo and fire. I don't know how...but its fascinating."
I nod my head, "Thanks Fishlegs."
"No problem."
For a moment I want to ask Fishlegs about the past, about why the academy broke up but something stops me. I feel like I shouldn't, like its wrong to ask him. So I don't, "I guess I'll see you later." I say suddenly.
"Already?"
"You need to get back to Ruffnut," My smile fades, "you don't want Snotlout stealing her from you." There's motive to my words, I know that. But I don't want to say it.
As I get to the door, I smile then disappear out the door. Meatlug is outside, waiting for Fishlegs, "Hey girl." The dragon wags its large tail and runs over to me, "you look so healthy." The dragon bumps my hand, "Good girl. I'll see you later." I pat her, then walk off.
I end up passing the beach, Snotlout and Ruffnut are there. Fishlegs hasn't returned yet. A smile is on Snotlout's lips, but as our eyes meet it disappears. I'm angry. I feel like kicking him in the behind. I am angry, frustrated, upset. I want to run up and strangle him. But all I do is glare and continue on.
But I don't know where I'm going, what I'm going to do. For once in a year I am at a loss for what I should spend the rest of the day doing. Until Astrid appears in the sky with Stormfly. I'm still near the beach, within earshot of Ruffnut and Snotlout when Astrid lands and runs to me, "Penny. Are you okay?" She stops in front of me, "What did Gothi say?" I see Ruffnut watching me, Snotlout as well. However I don't want them to overhear. Especially Snotlout, so I grab Astrid's arm and pull her away.
We walk, "She said it was nothing."
"Thank thor," She touches the arm that once had goo on it and I wince.
It's painful, "Ow."
"Sorry," She apologizes, "But that's good news."
I feel bad; I lied to her. No one else except for Hiccup knew about this, but sometimes I wish I had just went myself. That I had heard this myself. Its funny, I want friends and to belong, yet it didn't work. Maybe because I wouldn't share this with Astrid, or my worst fears. Anything important. I had to tell her. I just had to.
"Look," We are at the benches, I sit down, "Gothi...didn't know..."
"Didn't know what?"
"I lied okay," I snap, "she didn't know what it did. She only knew enough to..." I put my hand on my forehead, my bad arm resting against my lap, "she said i'd die slowly or quickly." Now that I had said it, I felt like crying. I didn't know why bad things were always happening to me. I'm no heroine, no main character in some silly story. I was just me. Just me...
Astrid doesn't say anything, "You're sick?"
"She didn't say that either," I look around, "I don't know. I wish I hadn't agreed to ride Toothles. That I hadn't gone with Hiccup. That I insist he ride Toothless by himself." It was true, all of it. I want to cry and I know I should, but I can't.
"Its okay," She says, but doesn't expand.
I shake my head, "I wish it were. Nothing is working out. So much death, so many broken hearts. Broken friendships," I glare, "What am I suppose to do? I'm not a heroine, so why am I suffering. Why is the world so...dark?"
"You may not be a heroine," Astrid comments, "but maybe you're destiny is coming closer. After a fall, you just get up. Maybe you're meant..." She trails off, hesitating in finishing her sentence, "...to bring the hero back to his spot. Protect the village, when no one else can."
The words are suppose to bring comfort, I know they are. To a lot of people they would, but I find little comfort. A slight ease on the heart, but that's it. I couldn't blame the break up of the academy...I was responsible for everything that happened. My own "sickness" but I didn't know what I had. I wasn't worried earlier, but maybe I was ignoring the pain. Trying to push reality away. Maybe.
I move my bad arm, it was a little stiff, but maybe because I had been riding Toothless so much recently.
"We will find a way," Astrid forces a smile, "if not, we will try our best. We're friends."
Deep down I hope its true, that a way would be found. That everything would turn out okay. But I didn't know for sure.
"So...is it toxic?" I ask Gothi. She shakes her head, pressing her stick down into some sand and making some lines and drawing pictures. I look at Hiccup, shrugging my shoulders, "this is when we need Gobber."
Hiccup stares at the lines and pictures trying to make sense of it, he scratches his head and sighs, "We don't understand."
Gothi glares at us, clenching at her stick. She pushes it into the sand, and starts to draw again. I try to concentrate on what I see; a question mark in the middle, with a picture of a bed on one side, and a viking helmet with something on it...blood maybe?
"So...i'm going to go to bed with a helmet?" Gothi glares harder, clenching her stick and slamming in on top of my head, "Ow!"
In the back are two wooden cabinets, Gothi opens the small doors and takes out two jars, one in each hand. In the left hand is a jar with a picture of a flower; a medicine created by Gothi with several different flowers that results in a black powder. It was a well known fact that it was used to cure diseases that left people on the brink of death; sometimes I would see her leaving a persons home with the jar in hand. And every time, that person was dying.. In her right hand is a jar with blue powder. There is a picture on the outside of the jar of a eel with spots...eel pox. A disease, that may over time kill you, but it takes A LONG time. It was a medicine she used to cure certain diseases that followed a similar path, deadly, but death comes over time.
She closes the doors, and places the jars on either side. The black jar goes on the drawing of the bed, and the blue jar goes on top of the drawing of the helmet. Hiccup and I kneel down, glancing at the two, "Something about...sickness...and death," Hiccup murmurs. For a moment we stare at each other, then glance back at the jars. I don't how long we are kneeling before Hiccup speaks up, "So this is serious."
Gothi nods.
"Do you know how serious?"
She shrugs her shoulders.
"Wait," I speak, "so you know its serious, but not if it causes death or just sickness? How do you know?"
Gothi groans, bringing her stick back and slamming it against my head for the second time. I touch the spot where the stick made impact with my head and wince. She walks over to her bookshelf and pulls out a small green book. Turning its pages, she scans each on until she shows us whats inside. The book looked like a journal with handwriting and notes with dates, this one dated back to before I was born.
I read out loud, "In the month of April I found a strange orange goo. I do not know where it came from. There are deer here, swaying and sickly. Most have goo on their bodies, some do not. It is unknown their condition, or whether they are even sick. They show abnormal symptoms."
There's a pain in my chest as I trail off, "This is really serious isn't it?"
There's hesitation in the old woman's eyes, but she nods.
"And you still haven't found a cure?"
Again she nods.
"Well I guess that settles it," I force a smile, "I'm a goner." The lady growls, slamming her stick on to my head again, "Again?"
She waves her finger, and starts drawing in the sand. I can't figure it out, of course, but she smiles at me when she finishes.
Its a clear picture of a flower with several thorns and three leaves, "Is this a flower?"
The lady nods, pointing to the book, "The cure?" She smiles, "Where is it?"
Quickly the smile fades and she shrugs her shoulders again.
"Do you have any idea where it could be?" Hiccup interjects.
Nothing.
"So you have no idea?"
Gothi nods.
"Well, we need to find it," Hiccup says, "we'll find it for you, Gothi."
"Do you remember what island you were on?"
Pressing her stick back into the sand, she makes a bunch of pictures, "I don't...remember this island."
She takes the stick and points in a direction.
"South? I don't know if we've gone south before." It was true, just as Hiccup had said. Rarely did he explore south, as most of the climates were colder than ours before the climate would start to heat up as the sun grew closer.
We say goodbye to Gothi, and jump on to Toothless. Though not knowing what the goo will do to me, besides the dizziness, is a little worrisome, I find myself not worrying about it too much. My mind is more focused on the dragon that attacked earlier. I had so many questions; how did Hiccup know the dragon? Why did Hiccup know the dragon? Why did it attack?
I know I should be worried about what Gothi said and in a way I am. I'm not in any way going to forget about it, rather I close my eyes as Toothless dives down towards the town, and chose not to think about it. To focus on other problems, something like this was not good to often reflect on.
Hiccup is silent, as we hit the ground and Hiccup jumps off Toothles he looks at me, "We'll find a way."
"I'm not worried," I lie, hoping off of Toothless, "there's too much else to worry about right now." There was so much truth to it, so much that I could feel myself shaking in my boots. I understood that the average joe would go home and sulk, vikings had a thing about death. I was like any other viking, but deep down I was hoping that it wouldn't come to me being bed-ridden and that death would never knock on my door.
Silence again. Hiccup looks away, and for once I want to know what's on his mind. But I don't ask, because at the same time I don't want to know, "Hey..." I think about a panic reaction from everyone, "don't tell anyone...yet. About what Gothi said."
No answer.
"Well..." I look over towards Gobber, who is coming from the benches where our earlier race took place, "...I think you're needed. I'll see you later."
"Penny."
"Yeah."
"Take it easy."
I'm a viking, I will never take it easy.
I smile at Hiccup, then retreat towards my own home. For a moment I wish that the race had finished first before the attack and our team had beaten Snotnuts. What a name...And I'm guessing like everyone else I was wondering where the dragon even come from. Later I would see Fishlegs. Maybe he could help. As I knew Hiccup probably would also. For now, it was to home.
"Penny!" I turn to see Grease running after me, his hair was smelly, I could smell even from where I was. He got to me, "Did you see what happened today?"
"Happened?"
"At the dragon race. We were attacked by a Monstrous beast. But the academy drove it off," Grease smiles.
I sigh, "I was there..."
"Oh. Well, I'm sure you weren't," Grease folds his arms over his chest, "I would have seen you." I sigh, there was no sense in continuing to try and talk some sense into him. I didn't even know him that well anyway. My house is not far, and I start walking towards it with Grease on my tail. I don't bother bringing up the goo or what happened at Gothi's. Instead, I keep my mouth shut as Grease tries to follow me, "So. Would you like to accompany me in two days to the next dragon racer?"
"Umm...well..." I frown, "that's going to be difficult."
"Difficult? A beautiful girl like you?" He glares, "difficult shouldn't be any vikings vocabulary."
I roll me eyes, "well, I am IN the race."
"In the race?" He laughs, "a girl like you? You would never handle something like that."
I laugh, "You'd be surprised."
"No. I know for sure," He stops me, "you're not like me. Strong. Bold. Able. Racing is important, and someone like you couldn't manage. In fact," He smiles, "I bet you've never been to one. So, come with me."
"I...uh..." I was annoyed, he didn't know me very well and had no such place to say anything. Inside, my emotions are bubbling, "I'll look-"
"Great!" He hugs me, crushing my body to his. I feel like my bones are about to crack, "I'll pick you up an hour before the race."
I go to protest but before I can say anything, he's gone.
When I get home, no one's there. Mother was normally sitting at the table knitting something, but after today's race, I could only guess she was at the great hall, bragging about her "daughters dragon skill." She did that often, even on days I lost.
So I conclude that it was time to find Fishlegs. I pray that he's at his home and not hanging out with Ruffnut again. If he is, I can not even begin to describe how awkward I would feel approaching him. When I don't find him at home, I find myself looking around the village.
At the peer, near the boats, I spot all three of them. Snotlout is leaning against a boat, laughing about something. Fishlegs too. I hesitate, I don't want to approach them. But I had to. I needed ANY information about this dragon.
"Fishlegs!" I call finally. There was some hesitation, but I see the full of his face when he turns to me.
Fishlegs waves, "Hey Penny."
Ruffnut and Snotlout are looking at me now, I feel awkward. If I wanted to do anything at that moment, it was to run away and hide from the world instead of pursuing this. I force a smile, "Can I talk to you?"
"To him?" Snotlout throws in, "why would you want to talk to Fishlegs? When I'm standing here." The smile is gone, replaced with that...look.
"I don't need to talk to you." I snap. The memories of the forest flash into my mind, they make me angry. He ignored me in the arena today, and then the incident right before the attack...there are no words. I feel weird, a mix of emotions are now flooding in. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. He looks hurt, and it breaks my heart. But I don't care, I just don't care anymore. Even now he finds ways to stab me somehow with something invisible...right into my best.
Fishlegs hesitates.
"Its important," I insist, wishing that I could get out of there.
Hesitation.
"Fishlegs!"
"Okay, fine!" He whines. Fishlegs turns to Ruffnut, "I'll be back darling." He takes her hand.
I feel like gagging. I was standing right there. As we walk, I note Meatlugs sudden appearance, "Where'd Meatlug come from?"
"The beach," Fishlegs responds as we walk up the stairs. I feel Snotlouts stare, but I ignore him and focus on Fishlegs, "she loves it. All the rocks she can eat." We get to the top of the steps, "What can I do for you?"
"The dragon from today," I start, "do you have any idea what it was?"
Fishlegs shakes his head, "I wish I did. I've never seen it before."
"What about the book of dragons?"
"Nothing. I wish I could tell you what it was. I wish I knew."
"Then...what did you gather today?"
He gestures towards his house and I follow him, "This dragon was unique. It had small scales that protect it from attacks," We walk into his house. No one is home, "its ears and nostrils were very small. But the eyes," Fishlegs shutters, "they were large and fierce."
Fishlegs grabs a book from a bookshelf near some stairs, it was a small book. I frown, "Have you been studying dragons?"
"Hey. Its my passion," Fishlegs passes me the book, "page twelve."
I flip to the page and see a list of stuff.
"What was the most impressive was the goo," He smiles, "the dragon has the ability to fire goo and fire. I don't know how...but its fascinating."
I nod my head, "Thanks Fishlegs."
"No problem."
For a moment I want to ask Fishlegs about the past, about why the academy broke up but something stops me. I feel like I shouldn't, like its wrong to ask him. So I don't, "I guess I'll see you later." I say suddenly.
"Already?"
"You need to get back to Ruffnut," My smile fades, "you don't want Snotlout stealing her from you." There's motive to my words, I know that. But I don't want to say it.
As I get to the door, I smile then disappear out the door. Meatlug is outside, waiting for Fishlegs, "Hey girl." The dragon wags its large tail and runs over to me, "you look so healthy." The dragon bumps my hand, "Good girl. I'll see you later." I pat her, then walk off.
I end up passing the beach, Snotlout and Ruffnut are there. Fishlegs hasn't returned yet. A smile is on Snotlout's lips, but as our eyes meet it disappears. I'm angry. I feel like kicking him in the behind. I am angry, frustrated, upset. I want to run up and strangle him. But all I do is glare and continue on.
But I don't know where I'm going, what I'm going to do. For once in a year I am at a loss for what I should spend the rest of the day doing. Until Astrid appears in the sky with Stormfly. I'm still near the beach, within earshot of Ruffnut and Snotlout when Astrid lands and runs to me, "Penny. Are you okay?" She stops in front of me, "What did Gothi say?" I see Ruffnut watching me, Snotlout as well. However I don't want them to overhear. Especially Snotlout, so I grab Astrid's arm and pull her away.
We walk, "She said it was nothing."
"Thank thor," She touches the arm that once had goo on it and I wince.
It's painful, "Ow."
"Sorry," She apologizes, "But that's good news."
I feel bad; I lied to her. No one else except for Hiccup knew about this, but sometimes I wish I had just went myself. That I had heard this myself. Its funny, I want friends and to belong, yet it didn't work. Maybe because I wouldn't share this with Astrid, or my worst fears. Anything important. I had to tell her. I just had to.
"Look," We are at the benches, I sit down, "Gothi...didn't know..."
"Didn't know what?"
"I lied okay," I snap, "she didn't know what it did. She only knew enough to..." I put my hand on my forehead, my bad arm resting against my lap, "she said i'd die slowly or quickly." Now that I had said it, I felt like crying. I didn't know why bad things were always happening to me. I'm no heroine, no main character in some silly story. I was just me. Just me...
Astrid doesn't say anything, "You're sick?"
"She didn't say that either," I look around, "I don't know. I wish I hadn't agreed to ride Toothles. That I hadn't gone with Hiccup. That I insist he ride Toothless by himself." It was true, all of it. I want to cry and I know I should, but I can't.
"Its okay," She says, but doesn't expand.
I shake my head, "I wish it were. Nothing is working out. So much death, so many broken hearts. Broken friendships," I glare, "What am I suppose to do? I'm not a heroine, so why am I suffering. Why is the world so...dark?"
"You may not be a heroine," Astrid comments, "but maybe you're destiny is coming closer. After a fall, you just get up. Maybe you're meant..." She trails off, hesitating in finishing her sentence, "...to bring the hero back to his spot. Protect the village, when no one else can."
The words are suppose to bring comfort, I know they are. To a lot of people they would, but I find little comfort. A slight ease on the heart, but that's it. I couldn't blame the break up of the academy...I was responsible for everything that happened. My own "sickness" but I didn't know what I had. I wasn't worried earlier, but maybe I was ignoring the pain. Trying to push reality away. Maybe.
I move my bad arm, it was a little stiff, but maybe because I had been riding Toothless so much recently.
"We will find a way," Astrid forces a smile, "if not, we will try our best. We're friends."
Deep down I hope its true, that a way would be found. That everything would turn out okay. But I didn't know for sure.