A/N: DOUBLE UPDATE! But don't hurt meeeee! *hides face* It had to happen! I'm sorry :( If you wanna know what happens, you're going to have to read and find out! Remember, patience is a amazing virtue! I'm already noticing some huge errors in this story. So i'm gonna go through and start writing them down XD I timed it..it took me roughly anywhere from an hour and half to threeish hours to write :/ But enough talk! Lets get started!
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"Lets break up," I shouldn't have said it, that was a stupid thing to say. But how else can I help him? What am I suppose to do in this situation? Now I can't look at him, at his sudden change in expression. His sudden change of emotion. I won't look at him.
There is silence, and a sudden outburst of laughter, "That's funny..." He points at me, teasing, "you wanna break up. That's great..." But I still can't look at him, even as his voice echoes throughout the forest. I don't know if I can take it. So I don't look at him. I look to the ground. Even when the echo dies off, "Wait, you're serious?" I'm cringing.
I nod slowly, hard of course to do anything with him watching me. But I need to brave. I have to make him think I don't love him anymore, then he can his relationship his father. It can go back on track. I can go back to where I belong. In the corner...by myself. The way I was before I joined the academy. It's how things are suppose to be.
"You want to break up!? Seriously!?" He exclaims. Out of the corner of my eye I see Astrid shake her head, Hiccups eyes grow with compassion for Snotlout. And all the while I do not sympathize with myself. Whatever he says I'll deal with it, "After everything we've ever been through. You want to throw it away!?" He shakes his head, "Speak!"
Of course, the words aren't in my mouth. I can't look at him or I'll cry again, like I did that night of the party. I remember how warm he felt, how much electricity went through my body as we kissed. How perfect that moment was. How I wish I was back there, "I..." I'm trying to be strong, because I feel this is the best way. The only way. To sacrifice one kind of happiness for another, "I have nothing more to say." Each word feels like my last breath. My heart feels heavier, words are stuck in my throat. I need to be strong, so I look at him.
He looks at me, that look I hated. That look he gave me when he was sad...when he was feeling something deep inside. That look make me want to cry, but I have to hold it in, "We aren't meant for each other," I have to try, I must. He must not know how strongly I feel, how much I love him, "we're from different worlds. You're up there with the big leagues. I'm not. You're meant to be with someone of the same status," I look at the ground, "I'm not. I'm meant to hide in my burrow."
Snotlout. Why can't you understand? That this is the way its meant to be! He shakes his head, looking around for a few minutes before looking back at me, "You just don't get it, do you?" Snotlout smirks, "I guess you don't."
And then he walks away. I see his shadow disappear down the path, and only when I know he's gone do I fall on my knee's and cry. I place my hands over my eyes, and sit there in silence. Hiccup and Astrid stare at me. Or wherever.
Now I'm confused.
I thought that once I said it, once it was official in my mind my heart would agree. That this world wouldn't just fall a part, but begin to come together. That once everything was in its place, things would finally start to make sense. But it doesn't. It just doesn't. And I regret it. But I can't! I just can't take it back! Even if I could the deed has already been done.
"I can't believe you did that," Astrid says.
Hiccup doesn't speak and I don't want him to.
"I," I cough from crying, "I thought if I broke up with him...he wouldn't feel that pressure. The pressure his dad was putting on him,"
"You broke up with him because of that!?" Astrid exclaims.
I wait for a second, then nod, "I didn't know what else to do..."
"Communicate, talk! Deal with your problem head on!"
I glare, "Don't you dare tell me about that! What about you two!?" I'm screaming now, "you broke up...and do what about it now!? Talk!?" I laugh, i think 'im going out of my mind, "You don't talk! You walk around and say not a single word! So don't you DARE talk to me about dealing with my problems."
Astrid's eyes widen, and then she's glaring with her fists clenched. I expect her to punch me, kick me, but she just walks away.
"Go away Hiccup," I exclaim, "leave!"
He looks at me, looks to the ground and follows Astrid to the exit.
And I'm by myself. I start to cry, louder than before. Louder than ever. What had I done? Hurt my friends, destroyed the little happiness I had...broke Snotlouts heart. What kind of a monster was I? The worst kind. For any reason, I feel deep down like this was a stupid decision. Reckless. Impulsive. But what else was new? And what was done, was done. He will be happy when he gets over me.
Things will work out.
The amount of time I sit there is unpredictable, undecided. I have no idea how long I kneel on the ground, but by the time I go to get up, my arm is chilly. My legs are hard to bend. I fall down at first, then brush off my pants. And I try again. I wish Raefor was here, that he didn't migrate. But he did. Like all the other dragons.
I head for home, tears still falling down my cheeks.
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Two days pass by. Slower than any other I have ever seen. I stay in my room, for fear of that look of disappointment from everyone...from my friends and the villagers. My appetite's gone, my emotions have been a roller-coaster, laughing one moment and crying the next. A broken heart, and I could feel it still cracking slowly. Mix that with even more guilt, lack of energy...
I look out the window every once and a while, sometimes I see Fishlegs, or the twins. But no one else. I don't look out for too long. I can't look. Today the dragons were returning with their babies. It was routine for Hiccup to leave during the early afternoon on Toothless, and come back in the early hours of the evening. From there the celebrating would begin.
But I don't want to celebrate.
For a moment I stare at an older journal, and then without thinking I grab it off my desk, and head downstairs. As usual moms not there. It had been customary now a day for her to always be socializing with anyone of a higher clan name. Dad was probably fishing. I shut the front door behind me, glancing down at the old leather bound book. I see a small piece of charcoal sticking out of the paper. It's small, sticking out only a little.
I walk down the path towards the beach, taking in the scenery that I haven't seen in days. A chill runs down my spine, I forgot my coat. Should I go back for it? It becomes a debate, but I decide not to bother. If I get too cold I will just go home. Besides, I wouldn't be out here for too long.
As I get to the beach I take a right, looking at its shores and heading towards a small cave opening that I discovered as a child. A large pile of rocks is on top, and I move each one until I see a small opening. I squeeze through, thankfully my body is small enough to get through the opening. The cave itself is small, only being about thirty feet deep and thirty feet wide. I could sit there, squished, but without being disturbed.
And like in my childhood, I nestle down into a corner and begin to write. First I draw a picture of Raefor, with little lines surrounding him, but not touching him. I label them, "Disease sensors." I outline my dragon, smiling as I think about how I'm going to see him later tonight. The sun was already beginning to set, which meant it would only be a matter of time before the dragon returned.
I was happy they were coming back. But I wouldn't be sticking out for Snoggletog celebrations.
There was little reason to celebrate.
My hand stops as the charcoal glides along the page, now my hand is holding it firmly inches above the paper. I put the journal down and the charcoal in between its pages to mark my spot. My head is against the rock wall behind me, and I close my eyes. I envision that look on Snotlouts face, how he must have felt when I told him I wanted to break up. He never agreed. But the look was the same; the answer was a disappointing yes. And I was to blame. But it was for the better.
The sun has set over the horizon and its not long before I hear the screeching or dragons. I pounce up from my spot, grabbing my notebook and pencil, then squeezing out of the hole. From my spot on the beach I can already see the dragons as they arrive, a large boat in the sky. I smile. They were back.
I run towards the beach, then up on to the land where people are already gathering. I stop where the land meets the beach and I smile. More vikings come out of their homes to see this marvelous sight. I don't care about them.
I only care about Raefor.
Toothless is holding a rope that is attached to one side of the boat and I watch as the dragons lower the boat on to the land. I back up so the boat fits on the land. And then, baby dragons poke their heads out. I smile, they are so adorable. They jump off the boat and follow their parents as they land. I spot Raefor not too far from me and I run to him, "Raefor!" He see's me, lifting his wings and running towards me.
And then we reach each other and I gasp his cheeks in my arms, and I don't let go, "I missed you!" The dragon makes a parrot noise, looking behind me after a few minutes. I turn and see four little baby Nadders. They stare at me. I look back at my dragon, then towards these beautiful little babies, "These are yours?" I don't see the mother, this means she was a wild Nadder. I didn't know how it worked. There was many a time when the male would return with the babies, but the mother would be nowhere. To this day I didn't understand. But it was one of those things when no one understood well.
"Hey," I say to the little babies, letting it sniff my hand, "did you have fun with daddy?"
The pink one approaches my hand, hitting it with its hand, then coming up to my legs and cuddling next to them. The other two are hesitant, but do the exact same thing, "They're as friendly as you," I say to Raefor, trying to pet them all with my hand. My eyes glance over the crowd, and they stop at Astrid standing in the middle of the crowd with Stormfly. She's kneeling down over some baby Nadders. She looks happy.
I then see Snotlout, its hard because he's so far away. On the opposite side of the crowd, but he's got something in his hands. He's happy too. I sigh, petting the three Nadders, "I can't even guarantee you guys a safe place to sleep," I shake my head, looking at Raefor, "I'll try though." Raefor hits my arm with his head and I smile, sadly.
Everyone begins towards the Great Hall, but I don't move. I stay; staring at the three bundles of joy nestled underneath my legs. They don't all fit, the two on the ends have tails sticking out. But I was going to try and get them a safe place. Maybe I would sneak them into the stable.
Yes. That's what I would do.
After what seems like forever I finally stand up, gathering two of the baby Nadders in my arms and heading towards the stables. Snotlout and Astrid are gone, I can only guess they are at the Great Hall. Raefor bumps my arm, "We aren't going. We'll get you guys into the stable while mom is at the party." Raefor bumps my arm again, "No Raefor, I'm not going!" I pick up my journal slowly, since my hands are full, and keep it away form the little dragons mouths, "I just can't...I'll tell you later."
We make our way towards home, where a small stable is. It sits beside our home, a little bigger than normal and perfect for hiding dragons. I get to the door and open it quickly, putting the small dragons down as they scurry towards their new home. They inspect it slowly, Raefor and I stay at the entrance watching. When the little dragons are happy I smile, Raefor and I entering, closing the doors behind us. Ours was one of the few with doors, and on days like this I was so thankful for it. I plop down on to the ground, the three little angels cuddling in my lap. It was warmer in here, not as warm as my home would be. But warm enough. Raefor sits beside me.
And I begin.
I talk about what happened after he left, about how I broke up with Snotlout and then spoke some hurtful words to Astrid. About my feelings then and now, it wasn't a long story considering, "I'm so confused," I slap the ground with my hand, "I mean, I did it so he would ave a better relationship with his dad. But...that face he gave me. The expression. I can't get it out of my mind. Its like imprinted," I shake my head, "I feel like I made a mistake, but I feel like I did the right thing...its just."
Raefor makes his parrot sound.
"I don't know. My heart...I thought it would just forget about him the moment I said the word 'break-up' but I had the opposite reaction. In fact, I feel worse than when he broke up with me," I look at my dragon, "What am I suppose to do? I love him...so much. Its like, without him I feel like I could die. Breathing is difficult. My emotions are a roller-coaster," I frown, "but he won't have any relationship with his dad. He's wanted his approval for the longest time. I'm just an obstacle." It didn't work out for us, but if he could forget me...get over our relationship, Snotlout would have a better chance at improving his relationship with his dad.
Just then the door opens, and someone holding a candle stares at me. He has dark brown hair on his head and beard, with a dark brown outfit. He wears long pants, and no coat.
Dad.
"Oh, I didn't know you were here," My dad says.
I nod, "Yeah I am.." I pat the little Nadders.
My dad stands there for a moment staring at me, then enters shutting the door behind him, "Are you having a rough time?"
"I guess you can say that."
"Want to talk about it?"
I shake my head, "I don't know. You probably know by now anyway. The way the villagers gossip."
He smiles, my dad was a gentle man with a low voice, "Out on the boat all day means less talk. Unless the fish can carry a tune," Dad would rarely be back before nightfall, though some days he would be. Those days he was normally at home, just relaxing or picking up stuff for our home repairs if any were needed.
So I tell him. I begin with what he knew, Snotlout breaking up with me before Drago's attack, then continue until I get to the most recent events, "...I just don't know. I feel confused. Like I made the right decision, but I didn't." I sigh, "I feel like I am causing all these unnecessary problems."
My dad smiles, "Before you were complaining of now being the source of ANY problems. And now you feel like you're the source and it bugs you," He pats my shoulder, "there will be days like this. When we feel like our world is ending. I had the same problem at your age. I broke up with your mother because I believed that we would never be happy."
"You? No!" I couldn't believe something like that, my shy dad.
He nodes, "Oh yeah. She didn't take it well. But over time we grew to trust each other again, above and beyond. Reasons were brought out into the open and in the end we were able to come out with a stronger bond."
"Really?"
"Yes," He looks at Raefor, "its a shame I made that mistake; it almost cost us our relationship. Now you..." He touches my cheek, "are repeating my mistake. Makes me think I did something wrong. But its a fact. Children repeat their parents mistakes. Just try to follow your heart. It seems to be battling your mind."
"You think...it could work out?"
"Spitelouts not exactly the easiest person. Few get his approval, and most are dead...and in his past bloodline. His son gets the same treatment as the rest of us. If Snotlout chooses to love you, my daughter," He smiles, "then he should. He's what you deserve. Don't allow your heart to be overwhelmed by logic. Love is not always logic. Sometimes maybe. But trust me, I don't think this is one of those times."
I sigh, patting Raefor, "How am I going to make this up to him?"
"Time," My dad is wise, who would have known? "And patience. Which reminds me..." He gets up, "we haven't gone fishing together in a while. I have Saturday off..."
"I wouldn't mind." He smiles, then heads out the door, "Oh dad!"
He turns, "Don't worry, I won't tell your mother about your stowaway friends."
I stare at the small bundles, "Thanks."
"No problem." And then he's gone.
I continue to pat the little babies. And now I know. My dad made sense. Sure I was still struggling a bit. But I was going to make the right choice. I smile, "And the journey begins."
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"Lets break up," I shouldn't have said it, that was a stupid thing to say. But how else can I help him? What am I suppose to do in this situation? Now I can't look at him, at his sudden change in expression. His sudden change of emotion. I won't look at him.
There is silence, and a sudden outburst of laughter, "That's funny..." He points at me, teasing, "you wanna break up. That's great..." But I still can't look at him, even as his voice echoes throughout the forest. I don't know if I can take it. So I don't look at him. I look to the ground. Even when the echo dies off, "Wait, you're serious?" I'm cringing.
I nod slowly, hard of course to do anything with him watching me. But I need to brave. I have to make him think I don't love him anymore, then he can his relationship his father. It can go back on track. I can go back to where I belong. In the corner...by myself. The way I was before I joined the academy. It's how things are suppose to be.
"You want to break up!? Seriously!?" He exclaims. Out of the corner of my eye I see Astrid shake her head, Hiccups eyes grow with compassion for Snotlout. And all the while I do not sympathize with myself. Whatever he says I'll deal with it, "After everything we've ever been through. You want to throw it away!?" He shakes his head, "Speak!"
Of course, the words aren't in my mouth. I can't look at him or I'll cry again, like I did that night of the party. I remember how warm he felt, how much electricity went through my body as we kissed. How perfect that moment was. How I wish I was back there, "I..." I'm trying to be strong, because I feel this is the best way. The only way. To sacrifice one kind of happiness for another, "I have nothing more to say." Each word feels like my last breath. My heart feels heavier, words are stuck in my throat. I need to be strong, so I look at him.
He looks at me, that look I hated. That look he gave me when he was sad...when he was feeling something deep inside. That look make me want to cry, but I have to hold it in, "We aren't meant for each other," I have to try, I must. He must not know how strongly I feel, how much I love him, "we're from different worlds. You're up there with the big leagues. I'm not. You're meant to be with someone of the same status," I look at the ground, "I'm not. I'm meant to hide in my burrow."
Snotlout. Why can't you understand? That this is the way its meant to be! He shakes his head, looking around for a few minutes before looking back at me, "You just don't get it, do you?" Snotlout smirks, "I guess you don't."
And then he walks away. I see his shadow disappear down the path, and only when I know he's gone do I fall on my knee's and cry. I place my hands over my eyes, and sit there in silence. Hiccup and Astrid stare at me. Or wherever.
Now I'm confused.
I thought that once I said it, once it was official in my mind my heart would agree. That this world wouldn't just fall a part, but begin to come together. That once everything was in its place, things would finally start to make sense. But it doesn't. It just doesn't. And I regret it. But I can't! I just can't take it back! Even if I could the deed has already been done.
"I can't believe you did that," Astrid says.
Hiccup doesn't speak and I don't want him to.
"I," I cough from crying, "I thought if I broke up with him...he wouldn't feel that pressure. The pressure his dad was putting on him,"
"You broke up with him because of that!?" Astrid exclaims.
I wait for a second, then nod, "I didn't know what else to do..."
"Communicate, talk! Deal with your problem head on!"
I glare, "Don't you dare tell me about that! What about you two!?" I'm screaming now, "you broke up...and do what about it now!? Talk!?" I laugh, i think 'im going out of my mind, "You don't talk! You walk around and say not a single word! So don't you DARE talk to me about dealing with my problems."
Astrid's eyes widen, and then she's glaring with her fists clenched. I expect her to punch me, kick me, but she just walks away.
"Go away Hiccup," I exclaim, "leave!"
He looks at me, looks to the ground and follows Astrid to the exit.
And I'm by myself. I start to cry, louder than before. Louder than ever. What had I done? Hurt my friends, destroyed the little happiness I had...broke Snotlouts heart. What kind of a monster was I? The worst kind. For any reason, I feel deep down like this was a stupid decision. Reckless. Impulsive. But what else was new? And what was done, was done. He will be happy when he gets over me.
Things will work out.
The amount of time I sit there is unpredictable, undecided. I have no idea how long I kneel on the ground, but by the time I go to get up, my arm is chilly. My legs are hard to bend. I fall down at first, then brush off my pants. And I try again. I wish Raefor was here, that he didn't migrate. But he did. Like all the other dragons.
I head for home, tears still falling down my cheeks.
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Two days pass by. Slower than any other I have ever seen. I stay in my room, for fear of that look of disappointment from everyone...from my friends and the villagers. My appetite's gone, my emotions have been a roller-coaster, laughing one moment and crying the next. A broken heart, and I could feel it still cracking slowly. Mix that with even more guilt, lack of energy...
I look out the window every once and a while, sometimes I see Fishlegs, or the twins. But no one else. I don't look out for too long. I can't look. Today the dragons were returning with their babies. It was routine for Hiccup to leave during the early afternoon on Toothless, and come back in the early hours of the evening. From there the celebrating would begin.
But I don't want to celebrate.
For a moment I stare at an older journal, and then without thinking I grab it off my desk, and head downstairs. As usual moms not there. It had been customary now a day for her to always be socializing with anyone of a higher clan name. Dad was probably fishing. I shut the front door behind me, glancing down at the old leather bound book. I see a small piece of charcoal sticking out of the paper. It's small, sticking out only a little.
I walk down the path towards the beach, taking in the scenery that I haven't seen in days. A chill runs down my spine, I forgot my coat. Should I go back for it? It becomes a debate, but I decide not to bother. If I get too cold I will just go home. Besides, I wouldn't be out here for too long.
As I get to the beach I take a right, looking at its shores and heading towards a small cave opening that I discovered as a child. A large pile of rocks is on top, and I move each one until I see a small opening. I squeeze through, thankfully my body is small enough to get through the opening. The cave itself is small, only being about thirty feet deep and thirty feet wide. I could sit there, squished, but without being disturbed.
And like in my childhood, I nestle down into a corner and begin to write. First I draw a picture of Raefor, with little lines surrounding him, but not touching him. I label them, "Disease sensors." I outline my dragon, smiling as I think about how I'm going to see him later tonight. The sun was already beginning to set, which meant it would only be a matter of time before the dragon returned.
I was happy they were coming back. But I wouldn't be sticking out for Snoggletog celebrations.
There was little reason to celebrate.
My hand stops as the charcoal glides along the page, now my hand is holding it firmly inches above the paper. I put the journal down and the charcoal in between its pages to mark my spot. My head is against the rock wall behind me, and I close my eyes. I envision that look on Snotlouts face, how he must have felt when I told him I wanted to break up. He never agreed. But the look was the same; the answer was a disappointing yes. And I was to blame. But it was for the better.
The sun has set over the horizon and its not long before I hear the screeching or dragons. I pounce up from my spot, grabbing my notebook and pencil, then squeezing out of the hole. From my spot on the beach I can already see the dragons as they arrive, a large boat in the sky. I smile. They were back.
I run towards the beach, then up on to the land where people are already gathering. I stop where the land meets the beach and I smile. More vikings come out of their homes to see this marvelous sight. I don't care about them.
I only care about Raefor.
Toothless is holding a rope that is attached to one side of the boat and I watch as the dragons lower the boat on to the land. I back up so the boat fits on the land. And then, baby dragons poke their heads out. I smile, they are so adorable. They jump off the boat and follow their parents as they land. I spot Raefor not too far from me and I run to him, "Raefor!" He see's me, lifting his wings and running towards me.
And then we reach each other and I gasp his cheeks in my arms, and I don't let go, "I missed you!" The dragon makes a parrot noise, looking behind me after a few minutes. I turn and see four little baby Nadders. They stare at me. I look back at my dragon, then towards these beautiful little babies, "These are yours?" I don't see the mother, this means she was a wild Nadder. I didn't know how it worked. There was many a time when the male would return with the babies, but the mother would be nowhere. To this day I didn't understand. But it was one of those things when no one understood well.
"Hey," I say to the little babies, letting it sniff my hand, "did you have fun with daddy?"
The pink one approaches my hand, hitting it with its hand, then coming up to my legs and cuddling next to them. The other two are hesitant, but do the exact same thing, "They're as friendly as you," I say to Raefor, trying to pet them all with my hand. My eyes glance over the crowd, and they stop at Astrid standing in the middle of the crowd with Stormfly. She's kneeling down over some baby Nadders. She looks happy.
I then see Snotlout, its hard because he's so far away. On the opposite side of the crowd, but he's got something in his hands. He's happy too. I sigh, petting the three Nadders, "I can't even guarantee you guys a safe place to sleep," I shake my head, looking at Raefor, "I'll try though." Raefor hits my arm with his head and I smile, sadly.
Everyone begins towards the Great Hall, but I don't move. I stay; staring at the three bundles of joy nestled underneath my legs. They don't all fit, the two on the ends have tails sticking out. But I was going to try and get them a safe place. Maybe I would sneak them into the stable.
Yes. That's what I would do.
After what seems like forever I finally stand up, gathering two of the baby Nadders in my arms and heading towards the stables. Snotlout and Astrid are gone, I can only guess they are at the Great Hall. Raefor bumps my arm, "We aren't going. We'll get you guys into the stable while mom is at the party." Raefor bumps my arm again, "No Raefor, I'm not going!" I pick up my journal slowly, since my hands are full, and keep it away form the little dragons mouths, "I just can't...I'll tell you later."
We make our way towards home, where a small stable is. It sits beside our home, a little bigger than normal and perfect for hiding dragons. I get to the door and open it quickly, putting the small dragons down as they scurry towards their new home. They inspect it slowly, Raefor and I stay at the entrance watching. When the little dragons are happy I smile, Raefor and I entering, closing the doors behind us. Ours was one of the few with doors, and on days like this I was so thankful for it. I plop down on to the ground, the three little angels cuddling in my lap. It was warmer in here, not as warm as my home would be. But warm enough. Raefor sits beside me.
And I begin.
I talk about what happened after he left, about how I broke up with Snotlout and then spoke some hurtful words to Astrid. About my feelings then and now, it wasn't a long story considering, "I'm so confused," I slap the ground with my hand, "I mean, I did it so he would ave a better relationship with his dad. But...that face he gave me. The expression. I can't get it out of my mind. Its like imprinted," I shake my head, "I feel like I made a mistake, but I feel like I did the right thing...its just."
Raefor makes his parrot sound.
"I don't know. My heart...I thought it would just forget about him the moment I said the word 'break-up' but I had the opposite reaction. In fact, I feel worse than when he broke up with me," I look at my dragon, "What am I suppose to do? I love him...so much. Its like, without him I feel like I could die. Breathing is difficult. My emotions are a roller-coaster," I frown, "but he won't have any relationship with his dad. He's wanted his approval for the longest time. I'm just an obstacle." It didn't work out for us, but if he could forget me...get over our relationship, Snotlout would have a better chance at improving his relationship with his dad.
Just then the door opens, and someone holding a candle stares at me. He has dark brown hair on his head and beard, with a dark brown outfit. He wears long pants, and no coat.
Dad.
"Oh, I didn't know you were here," My dad says.
I nod, "Yeah I am.." I pat the little Nadders.
My dad stands there for a moment staring at me, then enters shutting the door behind him, "Are you having a rough time?"
"I guess you can say that."
"Want to talk about it?"
I shake my head, "I don't know. You probably know by now anyway. The way the villagers gossip."
He smiles, my dad was a gentle man with a low voice, "Out on the boat all day means less talk. Unless the fish can carry a tune," Dad would rarely be back before nightfall, though some days he would be. Those days he was normally at home, just relaxing or picking up stuff for our home repairs if any were needed.
So I tell him. I begin with what he knew, Snotlout breaking up with me before Drago's attack, then continue until I get to the most recent events, "...I just don't know. I feel confused. Like I made the right decision, but I didn't." I sigh, "I feel like I am causing all these unnecessary problems."
My dad smiles, "Before you were complaining of now being the source of ANY problems. And now you feel like you're the source and it bugs you," He pats my shoulder, "there will be days like this. When we feel like our world is ending. I had the same problem at your age. I broke up with your mother because I believed that we would never be happy."
"You? No!" I couldn't believe something like that, my shy dad.
He nodes, "Oh yeah. She didn't take it well. But over time we grew to trust each other again, above and beyond. Reasons were brought out into the open and in the end we were able to come out with a stronger bond."
"Really?"
"Yes," He looks at Raefor, "its a shame I made that mistake; it almost cost us our relationship. Now you..." He touches my cheek, "are repeating my mistake. Makes me think I did something wrong. But its a fact. Children repeat their parents mistakes. Just try to follow your heart. It seems to be battling your mind."
"You think...it could work out?"
"Spitelouts not exactly the easiest person. Few get his approval, and most are dead...and in his past bloodline. His son gets the same treatment as the rest of us. If Snotlout chooses to love you, my daughter," He smiles, "then he should. He's what you deserve. Don't allow your heart to be overwhelmed by logic. Love is not always logic. Sometimes maybe. But trust me, I don't think this is one of those times."
I sigh, patting Raefor, "How am I going to make this up to him?"
"Time," My dad is wise, who would have known? "And patience. Which reminds me..." He gets up, "we haven't gone fishing together in a while. I have Saturday off..."
"I wouldn't mind." He smiles, then heads out the door, "Oh dad!"
He turns, "Don't worry, I won't tell your mother about your stowaway friends."
I stare at the small bundles, "Thanks."
"No problem." And then he's gone.
I continue to pat the little babies. And now I know. My dad made sense. Sure I was still struggling a bit. But I was going to make the right choice. I smile, "And the journey begins."