A/N: I wasn't going to update, but I decided to go ahead and do it anyway LOL! I got out of my writers block! :D Lets start chapter 17 (can't believe we're this far already!)
--------
"C'mon Hiccup," I say in the Great Hall after darkness has engulfed the world. There are only a few candles spread throughout. Hiccup sits across from me with a cup of water, "its the only way."
Hiccup shakes his head, "There must be another."
"There isn't. Like you said, if we do nothing that thing will destroy Berk. The best way to defeat is by studying it," My eyes widen, "but we can't do that without the academy."
"Penny, I can't open the academy back up," Hiccup insists, "I can't handle that plus running an entire village. The shoes already big enough..."
"Then ask Gobber-"
"Why didn't I think of that? Leaving Gobber behind to deal with the villagers with the proper sensitivity" Hiccup interrupts, "that just perfect." Sarcasm, everyone knew Gobber was the worst at sensitivity. That or hiccups head needed a checking up.
I sigh, "Then find someone else. There's gotta be someone here. What about the new elders?"
"I don't think they'd like that," Hiccup sets his cup down on the table.
"Why not?"
"Just forget it Penny," He sighs, "we need to find another solution." He wasn't budging. Toothless is behind him with his head tilted a little, but he settles back down on to the floor and puts his hand down. I felt like screaming. I was surprised at him, "Gobber says your fake arm is ready, we should go check it out later. Test it out when Raefor comes back."
"Sure," I guess we're changing the topic, "i still need to convince mom to let me keep him."
"That sounds like fun."
"Of course," Now I get to be sarcastic, "my mothers a dragon hater. Just what I want to deal with...what am i going to do with those baby Nadders when they get back?" I put my head on the table.
Hiccup thinks for a moment, "Someone will take them in."
"I hope so."
At that moment I hear my name being called and turn to see Astrid by the door. She waves at me, her smile disappearing when she glances at the person I'm sitting with. Great, I jut made life awkward. She hesitates, but walks over eventually making no eye contact with Hiccup. I see him watch her for a moment, then look away.
"Can I talk to you?" She looks at me.
I frown, "I'm not really in the mood..."
"Trust me, we need to talk."
"Fine," I look at Hiccup, "I'll be back." I follow Astrid, and we walk a couple feet before stopping. We're by the door now, "Whats up?"
"I thought you were going to apologize," Astrid starts right away, "and you didn't."
"I don't think I need to," I say quickly, even if its only half true, "I did nothing wrong."
Astrid glares, "It takes two people to create conflict."
"It takes one person to start a problem," I didn't want to talk about this, I didn't want to think about it. I over-reacted but I just didn't care. Why didn't he tell me his father put him under THAT much pressure?
She shakes her head, "But he didn't do anything."
"Astrid," I look over and see Snotlout sitting with some random vikings I'd never seen before.
"You need to apologize."
"No," I'm louder than I want to be but I don't care. I just don't care, "I don't have to apologize for anything." I'm pretty sure my voice echoes, but I don't focus on that.
Then a voice pops off, "What a jerk." Snotlout. Even his voice drives the nail of guilt into my heart.
I wish I didn't feel like that.
"Excuse me?" I say, turning towards him.
Astrid grabs my shoulder, "Don't."
I glare, "No..." I have to say something...but I will have to lie, I can't speak my mind truly, "...jerk? Did you just call me a jerk?"
"Yeah. Is there some wrong with your hearing?"
"I don't know. Is there something wrong with your hair?" I had to insult him back, maybe if I do, he won't feel so bad when we break up...when I break up with him. But I had decided not to do this! I'M SO CONFUSED! "Because it looks like its been dumped in a oil well."
"Excuse me, did you just insult Snotlout?"
"You bet I did!" I had to do this, it would be easier, "should I go on?"
He gets up and storms over to me, "No one insults Snotlout." His face is inches me.
I want to hug him, and kiss him right there, I'm so tempted but I can't. I just can't. It would hurt too much, "I just did. You have a problem with it?"
"Are you really making me repeat myself?"
Maybe if we didn't look so compatible, his heart wouldn't break. Even when mine did, even when mine would. I glare and pretend to clench my fist, "You think you have an answer for everything, don't you?"
"Of course I do. I'm Snotlout Jorgenson."
"Who cares?" I exclaim, I think everyone's staring at us by now. I'm glad Snotlout's father isn't here, "Who you are doesn't matter. It never matters. ESPECIALLY to me." I was making a big deal of nothing...but he can't have feelings for me anymore. And there I go, hitting the nose right on the button. I see his expression change, "You never mattered to me..." That's a lie! You do! I love you more than anything in the world! You're the only person who understands me, who loves me. Please don't believe me! My mind is screaming...and scolding me.
His eyes widen, "Oh yeah...well you never mattered to me either! You one armed freak!"
"Fine." His words hurt, but not as much as this...this guilt. I wish I hadn't heard his father's words, I wish I didn't know how tough he had it. I wish I didn't know...and I know I hurt him, but I just can't care. I can't.
"Fine!" I turn around and leave, not wanting to anger him anymore, not wanting to feel the pieces of my heart break a part. I push past Astrid, and run out the door. I can't stay here anymore. I have to get away. I have to leave. But I could see a shadow...someone following me. I know who it is.
"What was that!?" Astrid exclaims as I walk through the village and towards Svens farm where my special forest is.
Should I tell her? About these pains of guilt that have plagued me all day? Should I bother to describe how it felt to have your heart rip to shreds...to be the cause of people's problems, but having to sacrifice your own happiness. Would she understand? I don't know.
She follows me, "You know, you've been acting weird all day. What's going on with you?"
Maybe I should tell one person? One soul? But I don't want anyone to know, but I wasn't going to keep secrets...yet I am, "Its nothing Astrid..."
"Nothing?" She didn't believe me.
I wouldn't believe me either.
Then I guess I should speak, tell one soul. It wouldn't hurt right? "Earlier, after Snotlout..." I trail off, "...after he punched Grease in the nose I went looking for him. I waited a bit. Otherwise I'd have my head cut off. Hiccup was helping me. We saw Snotlout with his dad. They were arguing about...me. He was telling Snotlout he'd do stuff if...he didn't break up with me."
"Penny..." Astrid stands in front of me, "...what are you planning?"
"Its nothing," I continue to walk.
She tries to stop me, "It is. You never act like this; like a whining child. Why can't we return?"
"No," I shake my head, "I won't. No matter what. I refuse to accept this relationship," I want to scream but I don't, "not while his father refuses to accept it. He will suffer if I don't go through with my plan."
"Penny...what?"
I shake my head, "I'm sorry. My minds made up," I force a smile, "and nothings going to change it."
--------
A day has passed since my argument with Snotlout, and with Astrid. When Snotlout looks at me as we pass by, I get that emotionally awkward look. When he's sad. And that knife just stabs me.
But its for the better. Its for him.
Maybe once I thought about treasuring some time with him, but that kiss from a few days before was enough for me to remember...that one perfect moment I will never forget. As I turn the corner, I see his father. For a moment I believe I can just walk by, that he hadn't noticed me. But I was wrong.
"You," He says as I get closer, "we need to talk." Spitelout walks away, without another word or gesture. But I know I must follow him. We go in a quiet spot in between two homes. And I prepare myself in case I ever need to scream and rum away. He doesn't hesitate to get to the point, "My family name is important. I will not have my son running around dating whomever he please. For our honor, and yours. Leave him."
It was my plan. What I had to do, for him, so he could have a better relationship with his father. So I could get on with my life. Even if I couldn't, I'd try harder this time. Because I will know we are a part.
Spitelout continues, "If you chose to ignore my warning, I will do what I need to in order to separate you. Do not take my threat lightly." And he walks away, just as soon as he had approached me. I wanted to scream at him, tell him I would do no such thing. That I loved Snotlout with all my heart and NOTHING would separate us. How badly I want to scream. But I can't. I just can't. I was about to break his heart. I was about to disappoint my friends. Disappoint myself.
Today...today I would break up with him.
I love him, I love him more than I've loved anything else in this world. But I can't be with him. If he is to be happy, to have a good relationship with his father, then I can't be in the picture. I want to be in the picture, be with him as we grow old but I can't...I just can't. I lean against the side of the house, trying to push away these feelings I felt. Anger. Sadness. Guilt. There is probably a more logical way, a more logical approach.
But I can't do it...I just can't.
This is the only way out.
"Penny!" I hear Astrid's voice over my thoughts, and i'm surprised. The last time she saw me I was telling her all these facts, all of which I know would result in her being disappointed in me. Instead she grabs my hand as I leave the safety of the closed space, "lets go for a walk."
I tilt my head, "Why?"
"Because," She pulls me, "its fun!"
Whatever. I'll just follow her, I can try and put this off as long as I can. I follow her towards Sven's farm and into the forest. I feel cold, even with my coat around me. I was glad I was left handed, otherwise it would be difficult to get a coat on. I clutch it to me as the window begins to pick up, "Why are we walking into the forest?" You do realize I've been here before?
"For a walk of course."
"I don't need a walk."
"Yes you do," She smiles, "your heads in the clouds. A walk will help."
"Whatever."
We walk for a little while longer, and then suddenly I hear footsteps and voices ahead. From the thick of the tree's in front of us I see two figures emerge. Hiccup...and Snotlout. I stop, "Oh no..."
"C'mon! It won't be that bad!" Astrid exclaims pulling me by my arm, "besides you're reasoning is really stupid. I'm sure it will be fine if you trust him." She thought trust was the issue? It wasn't! She didn't understand, she didn't understand fully! I wasn't doing this because I didn't trust him, if anything I trusted him so much! But I couldn't let his father walk all over him because of me...I wasn't giving in, I'm going through with my original plan.
I'm going to break up with him.
But for now I'll play along. I let her pull me towards Snotlout and Hiccup.
Hiccup smiles, "Oh look who it is. Astrid and Penny. We were just taking a walk," He looks at Snotlout, "we were just taking a walk. Would you like to come?"
"Of course we would," Astrid sounds funny...she would never say yes to Hiccup. Great, I think I know whats going on here.
I glare, "I smell something fishy."
"Me too," Snotlout agree's, crossing his arms over his chest. He's also glaring.
"Great, then lets go," Hiccup says, turning around and going deeper into the forest. Astrid runs ahead, nudging me before leaving. She wants me to walk with Snotlout. I look at him and him me.
Well this is going to be awkward.
"C'mon!" Hiccup exclaims from behind the tree's.
I sigh, and follow him. Snotlout trailing behind me, but not too far. Or else he would get lost. I notice there is a similar awkwardness around Hiccup and Astrid. I was going to get them for this...I was going to have my revenge. It would be sweet. I would have great pleasure in doing it. I would make it good. I glare at Astrid's back...how dare they.
For now, it was awkward between us.
I turn my head to look at him, and I feel bad instantly. The guilt eats away at my heart, it becomes like a stubborn piece of mold. Its disgusts me and it doesn't want to go away.
Hiccup has obviously noticed the silence, so he starts a conversation, "So Penny..."
"What?" I interrupt.
"Who are you spending Snoggletog with?"
I roll my eyes, what a stupid question, "My mom? Why? Is it important?"
"No. I was just wondering,"
Astrid speaks up, "Snotlout, who are you spending Snoggletog with?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"Just answer it!"
"Okay, fine...don't get your skivvies in a bunch," Something, coming from Astrid's direction, zooms towards Snotlout, but he ducks just as it was to hit him on the head, "Sheesh. My dad, but why is it so important?"
"No reason."
I glare, "I don't know what you guys are trying to pull but it won't work." How can they? How can they set me up like this? I don't care what their intentions are!
Hiccup pretends not to know, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You don't?" I'm upset, "then what is this? Asking questions like that? Setting us up."
"Setting you up? Is something wrong with your brain?" Hiccup laugh nervously
Snotlout snorts, "Probably..."
"Shut up Snotlout," The guilt...its driving me crazy. I feel sick, I want to go home and cuddle on my bed. I don't want to snap! I have to tell my heart to push this away but I can't, my mind is so stubborn.
"Shut up? Shut up!? Who are you to tell me to shut up?"
"I can say what I want. You do it all the time, why can't I?"
"I do not!"
"Yes you do."
"No I don't!"
"Guys," Hiccup exclaims, "can't we just take a nice walk?"
No we can't, I have to get away from Snotlout, I have to get away from the world. I need time to myself, I have to go through with this plan. I have to try...I have to set Snotlout free from these feelings. Give him a clear path to what he wants. He didn't want me, but he didn't know it yet. He wants me that I can give him. More than my low class and my censored roller-coaster emotion.
"Snotlout," He looks at me. Angry like me, and confused. I was a jerk, I am a jerk! And this proves how much of a coward I am. How much I don't deserve someone who understands me, how everyone I love will just become a memory. Because I let it happen, "I'm sick of these charades. I'm sick of all of this stuff between us. Good or bad," I was going to say it, despite not wanting to. I swallow hard and look into his eyes. I have to say it, "Lets break up."
--------
"C'mon Hiccup," I say in the Great Hall after darkness has engulfed the world. There are only a few candles spread throughout. Hiccup sits across from me with a cup of water, "its the only way."
Hiccup shakes his head, "There must be another."
"There isn't. Like you said, if we do nothing that thing will destroy Berk. The best way to defeat is by studying it," My eyes widen, "but we can't do that without the academy."
"Penny, I can't open the academy back up," Hiccup insists, "I can't handle that plus running an entire village. The shoes already big enough..."
"Then ask Gobber-"
"Why didn't I think of that? Leaving Gobber behind to deal with the villagers with the proper sensitivity" Hiccup interrupts, "that just perfect." Sarcasm, everyone knew Gobber was the worst at sensitivity. That or hiccups head needed a checking up.
I sigh, "Then find someone else. There's gotta be someone here. What about the new elders?"
"I don't think they'd like that," Hiccup sets his cup down on the table.
"Why not?"
"Just forget it Penny," He sighs, "we need to find another solution." He wasn't budging. Toothless is behind him with his head tilted a little, but he settles back down on to the floor and puts his hand down. I felt like screaming. I was surprised at him, "Gobber says your fake arm is ready, we should go check it out later. Test it out when Raefor comes back."
"Sure," I guess we're changing the topic, "i still need to convince mom to let me keep him."
"That sounds like fun."
"Of course," Now I get to be sarcastic, "my mothers a dragon hater. Just what I want to deal with...what am i going to do with those baby Nadders when they get back?" I put my head on the table.
Hiccup thinks for a moment, "Someone will take them in."
"I hope so."
At that moment I hear my name being called and turn to see Astrid by the door. She waves at me, her smile disappearing when she glances at the person I'm sitting with. Great, I jut made life awkward. She hesitates, but walks over eventually making no eye contact with Hiccup. I see him watch her for a moment, then look away.
"Can I talk to you?" She looks at me.
I frown, "I'm not really in the mood..."
"Trust me, we need to talk."
"Fine," I look at Hiccup, "I'll be back." I follow Astrid, and we walk a couple feet before stopping. We're by the door now, "Whats up?"
"I thought you were going to apologize," Astrid starts right away, "and you didn't."
"I don't think I need to," I say quickly, even if its only half true, "I did nothing wrong."
Astrid glares, "It takes two people to create conflict."
"It takes one person to start a problem," I didn't want to talk about this, I didn't want to think about it. I over-reacted but I just didn't care. Why didn't he tell me his father put him under THAT much pressure?
She shakes her head, "But he didn't do anything."
"Astrid," I look over and see Snotlout sitting with some random vikings I'd never seen before.
"You need to apologize."
"No," I'm louder than I want to be but I don't care. I just don't care, "I don't have to apologize for anything." I'm pretty sure my voice echoes, but I don't focus on that.
Then a voice pops off, "What a jerk." Snotlout. Even his voice drives the nail of guilt into my heart.
I wish I didn't feel like that.
"Excuse me?" I say, turning towards him.
Astrid grabs my shoulder, "Don't."
I glare, "No..." I have to say something...but I will have to lie, I can't speak my mind truly, "...jerk? Did you just call me a jerk?"
"Yeah. Is there some wrong with your hearing?"
"I don't know. Is there something wrong with your hair?" I had to insult him back, maybe if I do, he won't feel so bad when we break up...when I break up with him. But I had decided not to do this! I'M SO CONFUSED! "Because it looks like its been dumped in a oil well."
"Excuse me, did you just insult Snotlout?"
"You bet I did!" I had to do this, it would be easier, "should I go on?"
He gets up and storms over to me, "No one insults Snotlout." His face is inches me.
I want to hug him, and kiss him right there, I'm so tempted but I can't. I just can't. It would hurt too much, "I just did. You have a problem with it?"
"Are you really making me repeat myself?"
Maybe if we didn't look so compatible, his heart wouldn't break. Even when mine did, even when mine would. I glare and pretend to clench my fist, "You think you have an answer for everything, don't you?"
"Of course I do. I'm Snotlout Jorgenson."
"Who cares?" I exclaim, I think everyone's staring at us by now. I'm glad Snotlout's father isn't here, "Who you are doesn't matter. It never matters. ESPECIALLY to me." I was making a big deal of nothing...but he can't have feelings for me anymore. And there I go, hitting the nose right on the button. I see his expression change, "You never mattered to me..." That's a lie! You do! I love you more than anything in the world! You're the only person who understands me, who loves me. Please don't believe me! My mind is screaming...and scolding me.
His eyes widen, "Oh yeah...well you never mattered to me either! You one armed freak!"
"Fine." His words hurt, but not as much as this...this guilt. I wish I hadn't heard his father's words, I wish I didn't know how tough he had it. I wish I didn't know...and I know I hurt him, but I just can't care. I can't.
"Fine!" I turn around and leave, not wanting to anger him anymore, not wanting to feel the pieces of my heart break a part. I push past Astrid, and run out the door. I can't stay here anymore. I have to get away. I have to leave. But I could see a shadow...someone following me. I know who it is.
"What was that!?" Astrid exclaims as I walk through the village and towards Svens farm where my special forest is.
Should I tell her? About these pains of guilt that have plagued me all day? Should I bother to describe how it felt to have your heart rip to shreds...to be the cause of people's problems, but having to sacrifice your own happiness. Would she understand? I don't know.
She follows me, "You know, you've been acting weird all day. What's going on with you?"
Maybe I should tell one person? One soul? But I don't want anyone to know, but I wasn't going to keep secrets...yet I am, "Its nothing Astrid..."
"Nothing?" She didn't believe me.
I wouldn't believe me either.
Then I guess I should speak, tell one soul. It wouldn't hurt right? "Earlier, after Snotlout..." I trail off, "...after he punched Grease in the nose I went looking for him. I waited a bit. Otherwise I'd have my head cut off. Hiccup was helping me. We saw Snotlout with his dad. They were arguing about...me. He was telling Snotlout he'd do stuff if...he didn't break up with me."
"Penny..." Astrid stands in front of me, "...what are you planning?"
"Its nothing," I continue to walk.
She tries to stop me, "It is. You never act like this; like a whining child. Why can't we return?"
"No," I shake my head, "I won't. No matter what. I refuse to accept this relationship," I want to scream but I don't, "not while his father refuses to accept it. He will suffer if I don't go through with my plan."
"Penny...what?"
I shake my head, "I'm sorry. My minds made up," I force a smile, "and nothings going to change it."
--------
A day has passed since my argument with Snotlout, and with Astrid. When Snotlout looks at me as we pass by, I get that emotionally awkward look. When he's sad. And that knife just stabs me.
But its for the better. Its for him.
Maybe once I thought about treasuring some time with him, but that kiss from a few days before was enough for me to remember...that one perfect moment I will never forget. As I turn the corner, I see his father. For a moment I believe I can just walk by, that he hadn't noticed me. But I was wrong.
"You," He says as I get closer, "we need to talk." Spitelout walks away, without another word or gesture. But I know I must follow him. We go in a quiet spot in between two homes. And I prepare myself in case I ever need to scream and rum away. He doesn't hesitate to get to the point, "My family name is important. I will not have my son running around dating whomever he please. For our honor, and yours. Leave him."
It was my plan. What I had to do, for him, so he could have a better relationship with his father. So I could get on with my life. Even if I couldn't, I'd try harder this time. Because I will know we are a part.
Spitelout continues, "If you chose to ignore my warning, I will do what I need to in order to separate you. Do not take my threat lightly." And he walks away, just as soon as he had approached me. I wanted to scream at him, tell him I would do no such thing. That I loved Snotlout with all my heart and NOTHING would separate us. How badly I want to scream. But I can't. I just can't. I was about to break his heart. I was about to disappoint my friends. Disappoint myself.
Today...today I would break up with him.
I love him, I love him more than I've loved anything else in this world. But I can't be with him. If he is to be happy, to have a good relationship with his father, then I can't be in the picture. I want to be in the picture, be with him as we grow old but I can't...I just can't. I lean against the side of the house, trying to push away these feelings I felt. Anger. Sadness. Guilt. There is probably a more logical way, a more logical approach.
But I can't do it...I just can't.
This is the only way out.
"Penny!" I hear Astrid's voice over my thoughts, and i'm surprised. The last time she saw me I was telling her all these facts, all of which I know would result in her being disappointed in me. Instead she grabs my hand as I leave the safety of the closed space, "lets go for a walk."
I tilt my head, "Why?"
"Because," She pulls me, "its fun!"
Whatever. I'll just follow her, I can try and put this off as long as I can. I follow her towards Sven's farm and into the forest. I feel cold, even with my coat around me. I was glad I was left handed, otherwise it would be difficult to get a coat on. I clutch it to me as the window begins to pick up, "Why are we walking into the forest?" You do realize I've been here before?
"For a walk of course."
"I don't need a walk."
"Yes you do," She smiles, "your heads in the clouds. A walk will help."
"Whatever."
We walk for a little while longer, and then suddenly I hear footsteps and voices ahead. From the thick of the tree's in front of us I see two figures emerge. Hiccup...and Snotlout. I stop, "Oh no..."
"C'mon! It won't be that bad!" Astrid exclaims pulling me by my arm, "besides you're reasoning is really stupid. I'm sure it will be fine if you trust him." She thought trust was the issue? It wasn't! She didn't understand, she didn't understand fully! I wasn't doing this because I didn't trust him, if anything I trusted him so much! But I couldn't let his father walk all over him because of me...I wasn't giving in, I'm going through with my original plan.
I'm going to break up with him.
But for now I'll play along. I let her pull me towards Snotlout and Hiccup.
Hiccup smiles, "Oh look who it is. Astrid and Penny. We were just taking a walk," He looks at Snotlout, "we were just taking a walk. Would you like to come?"
"Of course we would," Astrid sounds funny...she would never say yes to Hiccup. Great, I think I know whats going on here.
I glare, "I smell something fishy."
"Me too," Snotlout agree's, crossing his arms over his chest. He's also glaring.
"Great, then lets go," Hiccup says, turning around and going deeper into the forest. Astrid runs ahead, nudging me before leaving. She wants me to walk with Snotlout. I look at him and him me.
Well this is going to be awkward.
"C'mon!" Hiccup exclaims from behind the tree's.
I sigh, and follow him. Snotlout trailing behind me, but not too far. Or else he would get lost. I notice there is a similar awkwardness around Hiccup and Astrid. I was going to get them for this...I was going to have my revenge. It would be sweet. I would have great pleasure in doing it. I would make it good. I glare at Astrid's back...how dare they.
For now, it was awkward between us.
I turn my head to look at him, and I feel bad instantly. The guilt eats away at my heart, it becomes like a stubborn piece of mold. Its disgusts me and it doesn't want to go away.
Hiccup has obviously noticed the silence, so he starts a conversation, "So Penny..."
"What?" I interrupt.
"Who are you spending Snoggletog with?"
I roll my eyes, what a stupid question, "My mom? Why? Is it important?"
"No. I was just wondering,"
Astrid speaks up, "Snotlout, who are you spending Snoggletog with?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"Just answer it!"
"Okay, fine...don't get your skivvies in a bunch," Something, coming from Astrid's direction, zooms towards Snotlout, but he ducks just as it was to hit him on the head, "Sheesh. My dad, but why is it so important?"
"No reason."
I glare, "I don't know what you guys are trying to pull but it won't work." How can they? How can they set me up like this? I don't care what their intentions are!
Hiccup pretends not to know, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You don't?" I'm upset, "then what is this? Asking questions like that? Setting us up."
"Setting you up? Is something wrong with your brain?" Hiccup laugh nervously
Snotlout snorts, "Probably..."
"Shut up Snotlout," The guilt...its driving me crazy. I feel sick, I want to go home and cuddle on my bed. I don't want to snap! I have to tell my heart to push this away but I can't, my mind is so stubborn.
"Shut up? Shut up!? Who are you to tell me to shut up?"
"I can say what I want. You do it all the time, why can't I?"
"I do not!"
"Yes you do."
"No I don't!"
"Guys," Hiccup exclaims, "can't we just take a nice walk?"
No we can't, I have to get away from Snotlout, I have to get away from the world. I need time to myself, I have to go through with this plan. I have to try...I have to set Snotlout free from these feelings. Give him a clear path to what he wants. He didn't want me, but he didn't know it yet. He wants me that I can give him. More than my low class and my censored roller-coaster emotion.
"Snotlout," He looks at me. Angry like me, and confused. I was a jerk, I am a jerk! And this proves how much of a coward I am. How much I don't deserve someone who understands me, how everyone I love will just become a memory. Because I let it happen, "I'm sick of these charades. I'm sick of all of this stuff between us. Good or bad," I was going to say it, despite not wanting to. I swallow hard and look into his eyes. I have to say it, "Lets break up."