A/N: Did you like that cutesy scene in the last chapter? :3 I did! Be forewarned, things are about to...meh i'll let you see for yourself :P Chapter 16 bound!
The crowd disappears. vikings disperse in all directions. I was tempted to follow Snotlout after glaring at Grease, but I feel like its bad timing. He needs to cool off, so I don't follow him right away. I wait several minutes, staying away from Grease who is still on the ground. I'm pacing back and forth. When I believe I've waited long enough, I start in the direction Snotlout went, but I can't see him as I round the corner. Instead I see Hiccup.
"Hiccup!" I call. He turns to me a smile on his face, "have you seen Snotlout?"
Hiccup gestures towards the Great Hall, "That way. I'll take you."
Toothless bounds towards me, smiling and bumping my hand, "Hey you. How are you?"
The dragon playfully roars.
"Good," I pat his head, and we follow Hiccup to the Great Hall.
When we turn the corner I hear voices. I see Snotlout and Spitelout standing by the steps of the Great Hall, Spitelout's arms are crossed over his chest and Snotlout is glaring. I pull Hiccup's arm back to the corner, "What-?" He see's what I do, and says not another word. We watch.
"...not how you should act. A twenty year old does not pick fights with others," Spitelout is saying, loud enough for us to hear but not too loud, "I did not raise a son to be as disappointing as you were today; punch someone in the face. No Jorgenson has ever lost their temper like that."
Snotlout glares, "He started it."
"You sound like a child. Act your age. In fact, you should be acting older. A Jorgensons pride is our ability to act mature," Spitlout shakes his head.
"Grease started it! He called Penny flith, and-"
"Penny?" Spitelout's glare hardens, "that's what this is about!? PENNY!"
I shudder when he says my name like that. My heart is accelerating.
"I told you to break up with her a week ago! Why are you still dating her? A girl of her class should not marry a Jorgenson. Son, don't you forget that we're warriors!?"
"But dad, she-"
"A lost limb does not change her," Spitlout exclaims, "she is still the same low life she was before. And to think you shamed our family name for that little runt..." He shakes his head, "She isn't worth of the Jorgenson name."
When Snotlout mentioned his dad, I didn't know it was this bad. Sure I knew Snotlout was under a lot of pressure, but I also understood how important his father was to him. How much he respected him, how much he wanted to be as strong as him. I didn't know it was this bad.
"If you don't listen," Spitelout sighs, "i will take drastic measures."
And that's when it hit me.
This was serious, his father wasn't just saying all of this. He meant it.
Now a pain of guilt is tearing through my subconscious and I feel responsible. I get turn away from the discussion, and I can't look at anyone. I need to calm myself down, keep this guilt hidden. I wasn't going to keep secrets from Snotlout. But this...I couldn't let him see this. Keep the guilt in. Don't let anyone see it, "We didn't see this," I say, "lets pretend we didn't see this."
I turn back around, Hiccup and Toothless are still watching Snotlout. Hiccup turns to me, "I think...you should go alone."
"I agree," I state firmly, holding the guilt in, "you guys can leave if you want."
Hiccup hesitates, not saying anything. Before he can say anything I start towards Snotlout really slowly. Making sure as I take each step that he doesn't look too angry, that he looks ready for me to approach. I don't think he is, but I can't just stand there and stare.
I'm beside him now, "Feel better?"
"I feel fine," Snotlout exclaims, "I never felt bad."
My left eyebrow arches.
"What?"
"You didn't look fine to me..."
"Looks are deceiving."
"You punched a guy in the nose!"
"So what? He deserved it!"
"Snotlout..."
"Stop lecturing me. Seriously..." He turns his back to me, "you sound like my dad."
Again that guilt pain stabs my heart. I shake my head, "It was a mistake to talk to you..." I mutter, "whatever Snotlout." I turn to leave, back in the direction of Hiccup.
"Your such a bother..."
I stop. He has to make me feel worse doesn't he? Say something like this. I shouldn't take it personally, and I normally don't. It is Snotlout after all. But I feel so guilty, I feel like I'm not a hero, but the cause of everyone's problems. I love him.
But we can't be together, "Break up with me," I mutter, turning back, "if i'm such a bother break up with me."
For a moment there is silence, out of the corner of my eyes as I had turned back towards Snotlout I had seen Hiccup and Toothless. Hiccup's expression showed a sign of shock. Snotlout looks at me, "Break up with you? How can you say that!?"
"It's logical," I clench my fist, "if i bother you. Then you should break up with me."
"Why..." His glare hardens. It looks like his dads face when he's angry, "...fine maybe I will!"
I wasn't expecting that. My eyes widen, "Fine."
He storms off, away from me and in another direction entirely. I clench my fist, the guilt is so strong in my heart and mind that I don't cry. This doesn't bug me at all, "What happened?" Hiccups beside me.
"His father must have irritated him," I say, "Snotlouts never been that angry before," And it scares me.
"Once and a while," He comments, "its weird to see you guys fight."
"It feels weird," I note, "we rarely argue. I just...i just can deal with his flaws. They're minor compared to all the horrible stuff that's happened..." I trail off. My guilt is overpowering still, but was this right? "Hiccup. I think.." I turn to him, "I just made a huge mistake."
It was hours before the estimate time of the large dragon group reaching Berk, and our dragons beginning their three day adventure. Astrid and I met up at the Great Hall, and after the events with Snotlout I just didn't feel like chatting up a storm. But as we turn the corners towards the cliff, I start to reveal everything, but leaving out the fight I overheard. When I finish Astrid glares at me, hitting my shoulder, "Really? You guys are together for several weeks and you're already fighting?"
"Hey! He punched someone in the nose," I argue.
Astrid nods, "A little harsh. But you guys are dating."
"So?"
"So if someone insults a girl, and their guy finds out..." She trails off, "it makes sense."
I sigh, "Maybe I was too harsh..." Or maybe I shouldn't feel so guilty. My actions were the result of guilt. Nothing more, nothing less...but I was allowing Snotlout to suffer for it. When already he was going through a lot, "I should apologize." But I shouldn't apologize, I should not to apologize.
"You could always try," Astrid notes.
She was right. I had to apologize. Even seeing what happened before...I didn't consider how he was feeling and brought up something I shouldn't have. I sigh, "I'm an idiot."
"That will happen when your in love," I knew she was talking about herself as well.
We pass by some houses, and on the other side I catch a faint glimpse of something. It becomes clearer when we pass the houses, and get a clear view of Hookfang. Snotlout is standing by him, "Hookfang, what are you doing?" He exclaims, "Stupid dragon." Hookfang roars, flicking his tail. Snotlout trips, tumbling towards the cliffs, "Hookfang!"
The dragon runs to the cliff as Snotlout tumbles down towards the water. But as he looks down the cliff he becomes less tense, and sits down. I shake Astrids arm, "Did you see that?"
Astrid nods and we dart towards the cliff. Hanging on a rock sticking out from the cliff a little ways down is Snotlout, "What are you doing down there!?"
"Duh I was pushed."
"Hookfang.." I turn to the dragon, but he snorts and flies away. I turn back to Snotlout, "Do you need help?"
He looks at me, "No..." I glare, "fine yes. I need help!"
Astrid doesn't move.
"Hurry up. I can't hang on for much longer."
"In a minute. I'm enjoying this."
"Astrid!"
"Fine..." She gets up, "I'll help. Lets find a rope. Stay here."
"But-" Astrid glares at me, "fine."
She heads off in search of a rope, leaving me to awkwardly sit there with Snotlout. I decide to speak, "Don't fall."
"What do you THINK i'm trying not to do?"
I don't answer, looking away.
"What's your beef?"
"Nothing."
"Here we go again..."
"What!?"
"Your 'i'm not talking to you routine.' Lets keep secrets from Snotlout, so he can go out of his mind."
"I'm not hiding secrets," I lie, "besides why does it matter?"
"Your acting like a child."
I gasp, remembering his fathers words. Those words go up against this feeling building up as I watch Snotlout struggle to keep a hold of that rock. He is panicking, his expression says that.
And now I am too, "Seriously..." I mutter, ignoring his last words, "don't let go."
"I said I wasn't..."
The thought of Snotlout dead, the thought of never seeing him again tore my heart. It threw the guilt feeling away in the trash. It was something I couldn't stand.
"Don't let go," I'm pleading now.
Snotlout smiles, "There's more to Snotlout than that."
Minutes later, Astrid returns with a rope and throws it down to him. Snotlout looks exhausted, his hands are red. He grabs the rope and begins to pull himself up, I can see the determination on his face.
He is on the land now, on his back taking a few deep breaths. I am guessing from the redness of his hands that they are really sore. He wasn't clumsy, sure he did stupid things every once and a while, but i'm relieved. That he's okay.
For a moment we say nothing, do nothing. I stare at him as he sits up, brushing his pants off, "Are you okay?"
"Of course 'i'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"
I glare, then slap his cheek, "What is your problem!? You think YOU'RE the only one with a right to get angry when I almost die? YOU ALMOST DIED!" I'm screaming at him now, great...emotional gunk, "Don't shrug it off!" Now i'm a little bit angry.
"Wow, what's your problem?"
And there we go again. I was worried, I was upset, he almost died and that's all he can say? I shake my head, clench my fist and get up, "You almost die and that's all you can say!?"
Snotlout shakes his head, "I didn't almost die."
"Didn't..." I look at him, Astrid looks awkward out of the corner of my eye, "...if that's all you have to say. Then don't talk to me." Like I didn't care about him, i was going to apologize but now I just can't. Everything in my life is a mess. It like no one cares anymore. And my dragons gone for three days. What was I going to do?
I leave, this time I'm the one whose angry. Stupid roller-coaster emotions...
The hours pass, and soon late morning comes around. The people gather in the square, dragons included. Migration day.
For three days our dragons would go to a small island, as Hiccup had recorded in the Book of Dragons, and have their babies. I lean against Raefor as we wait for the large group of dragons to pass by. Ours would join them, and then return again in three days. I would miss Raefor, but had a lot to do.
Snotlout is standing farther away near his dad, with Hookfang at his side. I look over at him, hoping things don't continue to be this awkward. It was my fault for picking a fight of course, but that guilty feeling...I just couldn't shake it, "Alright," I turn to Raefor and pat his head, "you be good. Don't bring back too many children," The dragon lifts its wings, bumping my stomach with its head, "you're so silly."
I turn around towards the sky when I hear dragon calls, the group is already here. I wish that this moment would not come, but it would only be for three days and the it will be the day before Snoggletog. I pat Raefor once more, and step aside so he can fly off. The dragons leave the ground, flying into the sky.
And we watch until they disappear. So it begins. Three days without dragons.
Toothless remains, standing beside Hiccup and observing. Astrid is a little ways away from him, not as much as usual.
But minutes pass, and everyone retreats back into their homes. I remain for a little while longer, and when I feel i can, I approach Fishlegs who is standing near a group of older vikings, "Ready to strategize?"
He looks over towards where the dragons once were in the sky and nods. So we walk to the food storage.
"Its weird that Meatlug isn't here," I say, but I notice Fishlegs suck in his breath, "sorry." We turn the corner.
"Nah its okay. They'll come back soon." I note a hint of sadness in Fishleg's voice.
I nod, "So whats our plan?"
"I was kinda hoping you had one," He says.
"Oh..." I wasn't expecting that at all...I don't have a plan, I don't know what to do. We get to the food storage, "we need to find some way of getting everyone back together. We work well still, but there's...a wall," Fishlegs and I sit on the steps of the Great Hall, "can you tell me anything about that?" Maybe I can finally figure out what started the conflict between Hiccup and Astrid.
"Its not my place to tell," Fishlegs says, "but if you really want to know..."
"I need to know."
He sighs, "I'll tell you what I know."
"Alright."
For a moment there is silence until finally Fishlegs begins, "I don't know much besides what I saw. Astrid and Hiccup started fighting randomly, Snotlout...well that was normal. He was accusing Hiccup of killing his father."
I recall the events when the dragon attacked last, Snotlout accusing Hiccup of killing his father because he hadn't trained Toothless well enough, "So that was the reason for the outburst."
"They have been on bad terms since Snotlout started accusing Hiccup of...well you know," He looks at me, "you already know about the twins."
"What about you?"
"Me?"
"Yes."
Fishlegs shrugs, "I just felt really awkward..."
"You weren't mad?"
"Nope."
"Then why were you so quiet that day when Hiccup..."
"I was mad at Snotlout," Fishlegs shrugs, "he embarrassed me in front of Ruffnut."
"I can't imagine," I'm sarcastic of course, "so...if that's the only problem, then..." Hiccup was afraid he couldn't protect Berk like his father could, "this may be easier than I thought."
"How?"
"You said it yourself yesterday. All we need to do is encourage and give this some time. But we're going to have to do it quickly. 'Else this thing will attack again and other people will get sick."
"But how? Hiccups stubborn."
"I don't know. Maybe if we both bring it up, try to convince him. Maybe it will work." The only problem was Fishlegs didn't know what I did...what I knew about why Hiccup wouldn't ride Toothless. A partial reason as to why he closed the Academy down.
But I couldn't tell him, "Fishlegs, I-"
"Excuse me?" I hear a familiar voice exclaim, "what are you doing here?"
Snotlout again. Didn't this guy ever do anything else but follow me? Love and anger overwhelm my heart when I see his face, "Talking." I snap.
"Oh. So you can talk to him without yelling, but not me? Seriously!?"
And here we go again, "Would you stop?"
"Why? So you can yell at me again?"
"Whatever," I get up, "I'll see you later Fishlegs. When this guy stops following me."
"Hey!" He walks behind me as I try to leave, "why are you so mad again? Seriously, why do you keep walking away? Why were you talking to fish face!?" I'm trying to ignore him, "hey!"
I turn around. A part of me wants to just kiss him, but the other part is still angry. Angry at myself for causing him so much pressure, making his relationship with his father worse, always getting angry...that's why I was yelling at him. Underlining the feeling of helplessness, and not wanting him to die, I feel now that without me he would be better. That I never should have discovered why he broke up with me. That he deserved better. He doesn't think i'm a coward. But I wish things wouldn't get out of hand.
Should I tell him? I'm still debating. What would he do? Should I take a chance?
Maybe, just maybe I should treasure some time with him. Some time in this relationship, then I can break up with him.
Then I can release this pressure and make his life easier. His relationship with his father better.
And I wouldn't mind being blamed.
But not yet, just not yet. I need time.
"Just leave me alone for a bit," I say. I try to lose him by walking away but he follows me, trying to push why I was angry again. And of course he didn't get it. And yet I didn't get it.
The crowd disappears. vikings disperse in all directions. I was tempted to follow Snotlout after glaring at Grease, but I feel like its bad timing. He needs to cool off, so I don't follow him right away. I wait several minutes, staying away from Grease who is still on the ground. I'm pacing back and forth. When I believe I've waited long enough, I start in the direction Snotlout went, but I can't see him as I round the corner. Instead I see Hiccup.
"Hiccup!" I call. He turns to me a smile on his face, "have you seen Snotlout?"
Hiccup gestures towards the Great Hall, "That way. I'll take you."
Toothless bounds towards me, smiling and bumping my hand, "Hey you. How are you?"
The dragon playfully roars.
"Good," I pat his head, and we follow Hiccup to the Great Hall.
When we turn the corner I hear voices. I see Snotlout and Spitelout standing by the steps of the Great Hall, Spitelout's arms are crossed over his chest and Snotlout is glaring. I pull Hiccup's arm back to the corner, "What-?" He see's what I do, and says not another word. We watch.
"...not how you should act. A twenty year old does not pick fights with others," Spitelout is saying, loud enough for us to hear but not too loud, "I did not raise a son to be as disappointing as you were today; punch someone in the face. No Jorgenson has ever lost their temper like that."
Snotlout glares, "He started it."
"You sound like a child. Act your age. In fact, you should be acting older. A Jorgensons pride is our ability to act mature," Spitlout shakes his head.
"Grease started it! He called Penny flith, and-"
"Penny?" Spitelout's glare hardens, "that's what this is about!? PENNY!"
I shudder when he says my name like that. My heart is accelerating.
"I told you to break up with her a week ago! Why are you still dating her? A girl of her class should not marry a Jorgenson. Son, don't you forget that we're warriors!?"
"But dad, she-"
"A lost limb does not change her," Spitlout exclaims, "she is still the same low life she was before. And to think you shamed our family name for that little runt..." He shakes his head, "She isn't worth of the Jorgenson name."
When Snotlout mentioned his dad, I didn't know it was this bad. Sure I knew Snotlout was under a lot of pressure, but I also understood how important his father was to him. How much he respected him, how much he wanted to be as strong as him. I didn't know it was this bad.
"If you don't listen," Spitelout sighs, "i will take drastic measures."
And that's when it hit me.
This was serious, his father wasn't just saying all of this. He meant it.
Now a pain of guilt is tearing through my subconscious and I feel responsible. I get turn away from the discussion, and I can't look at anyone. I need to calm myself down, keep this guilt hidden. I wasn't going to keep secrets from Snotlout. But this...I couldn't let him see this. Keep the guilt in. Don't let anyone see it, "We didn't see this," I say, "lets pretend we didn't see this."
I turn back around, Hiccup and Toothless are still watching Snotlout. Hiccup turns to me, "I think...you should go alone."
"I agree," I state firmly, holding the guilt in, "you guys can leave if you want."
Hiccup hesitates, not saying anything. Before he can say anything I start towards Snotlout really slowly. Making sure as I take each step that he doesn't look too angry, that he looks ready for me to approach. I don't think he is, but I can't just stand there and stare.
I'm beside him now, "Feel better?"
"I feel fine," Snotlout exclaims, "I never felt bad."
My left eyebrow arches.
"What?"
"You didn't look fine to me..."
"Looks are deceiving."
"You punched a guy in the nose!"
"So what? He deserved it!"
"Snotlout..."
"Stop lecturing me. Seriously..." He turns his back to me, "you sound like my dad."
Again that guilt pain stabs my heart. I shake my head, "It was a mistake to talk to you..." I mutter, "whatever Snotlout." I turn to leave, back in the direction of Hiccup.
"Your such a bother..."
I stop. He has to make me feel worse doesn't he? Say something like this. I shouldn't take it personally, and I normally don't. It is Snotlout after all. But I feel so guilty, I feel like I'm not a hero, but the cause of everyone's problems. I love him.
But we can't be together, "Break up with me," I mutter, turning back, "if i'm such a bother break up with me."
For a moment there is silence, out of the corner of my eyes as I had turned back towards Snotlout I had seen Hiccup and Toothless. Hiccup's expression showed a sign of shock. Snotlout looks at me, "Break up with you? How can you say that!?"
"It's logical," I clench my fist, "if i bother you. Then you should break up with me."
"Why..." His glare hardens. It looks like his dads face when he's angry, "...fine maybe I will!"
I wasn't expecting that. My eyes widen, "Fine."
He storms off, away from me and in another direction entirely. I clench my fist, the guilt is so strong in my heart and mind that I don't cry. This doesn't bug me at all, "What happened?" Hiccups beside me.
"His father must have irritated him," I say, "Snotlouts never been that angry before," And it scares me.
"Once and a while," He comments, "its weird to see you guys fight."
"It feels weird," I note, "we rarely argue. I just...i just can deal with his flaws. They're minor compared to all the horrible stuff that's happened..." I trail off. My guilt is overpowering still, but was this right? "Hiccup. I think.." I turn to him, "I just made a huge mistake."
It was hours before the estimate time of the large dragon group reaching Berk, and our dragons beginning their three day adventure. Astrid and I met up at the Great Hall, and after the events with Snotlout I just didn't feel like chatting up a storm. But as we turn the corners towards the cliff, I start to reveal everything, but leaving out the fight I overheard. When I finish Astrid glares at me, hitting my shoulder, "Really? You guys are together for several weeks and you're already fighting?"
"Hey! He punched someone in the nose," I argue.
Astrid nods, "A little harsh. But you guys are dating."
"So?"
"So if someone insults a girl, and their guy finds out..." She trails off, "it makes sense."
I sigh, "Maybe I was too harsh..." Or maybe I shouldn't feel so guilty. My actions were the result of guilt. Nothing more, nothing less...but I was allowing Snotlout to suffer for it. When already he was going through a lot, "I should apologize." But I shouldn't apologize, I should not to apologize.
"You could always try," Astrid notes.
She was right. I had to apologize. Even seeing what happened before...I didn't consider how he was feeling and brought up something I shouldn't have. I sigh, "I'm an idiot."
"That will happen when your in love," I knew she was talking about herself as well.
We pass by some houses, and on the other side I catch a faint glimpse of something. It becomes clearer when we pass the houses, and get a clear view of Hookfang. Snotlout is standing by him, "Hookfang, what are you doing?" He exclaims, "Stupid dragon." Hookfang roars, flicking his tail. Snotlout trips, tumbling towards the cliffs, "Hookfang!"
The dragon runs to the cliff as Snotlout tumbles down towards the water. But as he looks down the cliff he becomes less tense, and sits down. I shake Astrids arm, "Did you see that?"
Astrid nods and we dart towards the cliff. Hanging on a rock sticking out from the cliff a little ways down is Snotlout, "What are you doing down there!?"
"Duh I was pushed."
"Hookfang.." I turn to the dragon, but he snorts and flies away. I turn back to Snotlout, "Do you need help?"
He looks at me, "No..." I glare, "fine yes. I need help!"
Astrid doesn't move.
"Hurry up. I can't hang on for much longer."
"In a minute. I'm enjoying this."
"Astrid!"
"Fine..." She gets up, "I'll help. Lets find a rope. Stay here."
"But-" Astrid glares at me, "fine."
She heads off in search of a rope, leaving me to awkwardly sit there with Snotlout. I decide to speak, "Don't fall."
"What do you THINK i'm trying not to do?"
I don't answer, looking away.
"What's your beef?"
"Nothing."
"Here we go again..."
"What!?"
"Your 'i'm not talking to you routine.' Lets keep secrets from Snotlout, so he can go out of his mind."
"I'm not hiding secrets," I lie, "besides why does it matter?"
"Your acting like a child."
I gasp, remembering his fathers words. Those words go up against this feeling building up as I watch Snotlout struggle to keep a hold of that rock. He is panicking, his expression says that.
And now I am too, "Seriously..." I mutter, ignoring his last words, "don't let go."
"I said I wasn't..."
The thought of Snotlout dead, the thought of never seeing him again tore my heart. It threw the guilt feeling away in the trash. It was something I couldn't stand.
"Don't let go," I'm pleading now.
Snotlout smiles, "There's more to Snotlout than that."
Minutes later, Astrid returns with a rope and throws it down to him. Snotlout looks exhausted, his hands are red. He grabs the rope and begins to pull himself up, I can see the determination on his face.
He is on the land now, on his back taking a few deep breaths. I am guessing from the redness of his hands that they are really sore. He wasn't clumsy, sure he did stupid things every once and a while, but i'm relieved. That he's okay.
For a moment we say nothing, do nothing. I stare at him as he sits up, brushing his pants off, "Are you okay?"
"Of course 'i'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"
I glare, then slap his cheek, "What is your problem!? You think YOU'RE the only one with a right to get angry when I almost die? YOU ALMOST DIED!" I'm screaming at him now, great...emotional gunk, "Don't shrug it off!" Now i'm a little bit angry.
"Wow, what's your problem?"
And there we go again. I was worried, I was upset, he almost died and that's all he can say? I shake my head, clench my fist and get up, "You almost die and that's all you can say!?"
Snotlout shakes his head, "I didn't almost die."
"Didn't..." I look at him, Astrid looks awkward out of the corner of my eye, "...if that's all you have to say. Then don't talk to me." Like I didn't care about him, i was going to apologize but now I just can't. Everything in my life is a mess. It like no one cares anymore. And my dragons gone for three days. What was I going to do?
I leave, this time I'm the one whose angry. Stupid roller-coaster emotions...
The hours pass, and soon late morning comes around. The people gather in the square, dragons included. Migration day.
For three days our dragons would go to a small island, as Hiccup had recorded in the Book of Dragons, and have their babies. I lean against Raefor as we wait for the large group of dragons to pass by. Ours would join them, and then return again in three days. I would miss Raefor, but had a lot to do.
Snotlout is standing farther away near his dad, with Hookfang at his side. I look over at him, hoping things don't continue to be this awkward. It was my fault for picking a fight of course, but that guilty feeling...I just couldn't shake it, "Alright," I turn to Raefor and pat his head, "you be good. Don't bring back too many children," The dragon lifts its wings, bumping my stomach with its head, "you're so silly."
I turn around towards the sky when I hear dragon calls, the group is already here. I wish that this moment would not come, but it would only be for three days and the it will be the day before Snoggletog. I pat Raefor once more, and step aside so he can fly off. The dragons leave the ground, flying into the sky.
And we watch until they disappear. So it begins. Three days without dragons.
Toothless remains, standing beside Hiccup and observing. Astrid is a little ways away from him, not as much as usual.
But minutes pass, and everyone retreats back into their homes. I remain for a little while longer, and when I feel i can, I approach Fishlegs who is standing near a group of older vikings, "Ready to strategize?"
He looks over towards where the dragons once were in the sky and nods. So we walk to the food storage.
"Its weird that Meatlug isn't here," I say, but I notice Fishlegs suck in his breath, "sorry." We turn the corner.
"Nah its okay. They'll come back soon." I note a hint of sadness in Fishleg's voice.
I nod, "So whats our plan?"
"I was kinda hoping you had one," He says.
"Oh..." I wasn't expecting that at all...I don't have a plan, I don't know what to do. We get to the food storage, "we need to find some way of getting everyone back together. We work well still, but there's...a wall," Fishlegs and I sit on the steps of the Great Hall, "can you tell me anything about that?" Maybe I can finally figure out what started the conflict between Hiccup and Astrid.
"Its not my place to tell," Fishlegs says, "but if you really want to know..."
"I need to know."
He sighs, "I'll tell you what I know."
"Alright."
For a moment there is silence until finally Fishlegs begins, "I don't know much besides what I saw. Astrid and Hiccup started fighting randomly, Snotlout...well that was normal. He was accusing Hiccup of killing his father."
I recall the events when the dragon attacked last, Snotlout accusing Hiccup of killing his father because he hadn't trained Toothless well enough, "So that was the reason for the outburst."
"They have been on bad terms since Snotlout started accusing Hiccup of...well you know," He looks at me, "you already know about the twins."
"What about you?"
"Me?"
"Yes."
Fishlegs shrugs, "I just felt really awkward..."
"You weren't mad?"
"Nope."
"Then why were you so quiet that day when Hiccup..."
"I was mad at Snotlout," Fishlegs shrugs, "he embarrassed me in front of Ruffnut."
"I can't imagine," I'm sarcastic of course, "so...if that's the only problem, then..." Hiccup was afraid he couldn't protect Berk like his father could, "this may be easier than I thought."
"How?"
"You said it yourself yesterday. All we need to do is encourage and give this some time. But we're going to have to do it quickly. 'Else this thing will attack again and other people will get sick."
"But how? Hiccups stubborn."
"I don't know. Maybe if we both bring it up, try to convince him. Maybe it will work." The only problem was Fishlegs didn't know what I did...what I knew about why Hiccup wouldn't ride Toothless. A partial reason as to why he closed the Academy down.
But I couldn't tell him, "Fishlegs, I-"
"Excuse me?" I hear a familiar voice exclaim, "what are you doing here?"
Snotlout again. Didn't this guy ever do anything else but follow me? Love and anger overwhelm my heart when I see his face, "Talking." I snap.
"Oh. So you can talk to him without yelling, but not me? Seriously!?"
And here we go again, "Would you stop?"
"Why? So you can yell at me again?"
"Whatever," I get up, "I'll see you later Fishlegs. When this guy stops following me."
"Hey!" He walks behind me as I try to leave, "why are you so mad again? Seriously, why do you keep walking away? Why were you talking to fish face!?" I'm trying to ignore him, "hey!"
I turn around. A part of me wants to just kiss him, but the other part is still angry. Angry at myself for causing him so much pressure, making his relationship with his father worse, always getting angry...that's why I was yelling at him. Underlining the feeling of helplessness, and not wanting him to die, I feel now that without me he would be better. That I never should have discovered why he broke up with me. That he deserved better. He doesn't think i'm a coward. But I wish things wouldn't get out of hand.
Should I tell him? I'm still debating. What would he do? Should I take a chance?
Maybe, just maybe I should treasure some time with him. Some time in this relationship, then I can break up with him.
Then I can release this pressure and make his life easier. His relationship with his father better.
And I wouldn't mind being blamed.
But not yet, just not yet. I need time.
"Just leave me alone for a bit," I say. I try to lose him by walking away but he follows me, trying to push why I was angry again. And of course he didn't get it. And yet I didn't get it.